Life is still sweet, not as dark as I thought it would be...

Ah... today I feel so relieved after lifting that one ton guilt in my heart. I did the most terrifying, ok... maybe only for me, thing there is... to tell my parents I failed my FYP and I need to wait another year to resit and graduate my Advanced Diploma.

It's my fault for trying to do the impossible... to do a hand animation entirely by myself, when I am still noob in drawing animation characters properly. I was very sad and my heart was so heavy, my head filled with ache... what can I do!? Nothing... I tried my best and in the end shoot with a machine gun by that bastard Aaron n even the damn Bern shoot at me, with silly questions like 'what did you learn all this while in multimedia?'... It was damn sarcastic and I was already shivering from doing presentation, so I just shoot whatever my mind can think while smiling to keep a positive attitude. Then the damn Aaron says I am not taking it seriously... F**K?! So what do you want me to do? Cry and beg for forgiveness in front of other students?!? I keep my head high, smiling... but deep inside the scars were deeper than the depths of Hell.

But now I feel so free... so happy, with no more worries or guilt. F**K them, I don't need to see them anymore... until next year. I will stay positive like what my parents want me to be. They encouraged me and say its alright, try again next year. I know they are sad cause I already wasted so much of my time studying, but I will start working next year. I must leave my nest and try to flap my wings into the dreaded world below. Even if I fail, at least I tried... I must.

Last Sunday was also a happy day because although I went to Submit, I did not join the tournament (my bro did and he lost). So I smsed YL and CMing if they want to come out for lunch or something, and they agreed. So the 3 of us had lunch and went for window shopping with YL... it was fun, cause I got to hang out with YL, ahhh :)

Dead busy!

Assignments, assignments, assignments! So damn many freaking assignments that I hardly have any time for games... which is really bad!

Lately maybe influence by Daniel, had some dreams of dating YL. In the dream she is already my gf, lol... it was a nice dream, although not perfect. I am still wondering if we have any chance together... nah!

LG is still being cold at me, as usual. I don't really mind at first, cause I was mad at her too. But now I am starting to be a bit forgiving... yet she still behaves the same. Looking back at old photos on how we used to yamcha whenever we are free does make me feel a bit... sayang. Oh well, better late than never! (in knowing her real attitude)

W is totally out the picture... cause now I know my 'love' for her was actually a feeling of affection, when I was feeling lonely and down last time. After clearing up my mind, I discover she is not my type I would spend the rest of my life with, haha. So must think clearly before choosing a gf... cause I want 'her' to be my first, and my last (not anything in between).

Cant really say that this is a nice semester... cause I have to go solo on a two person project. Hopefully I can still find a group where I belong next semester, but it will be hard... since most people have their own 'groups' liao. For the first time I wish they will never be anymore group assignments... solo is best! No need care if the other members got do their job or not... people cannot 'leech' your marks if they do badly (or nothing!).



Sigh, where is the fun of college life!?! T_T

Life in college

Who says life in college is all about fun? Yes, it should be... better than the future and coming work life. But STILL... it's not that fun for me. Why? Cause I'm having problems communicating with the younger generations... BIG problem.

I still feel a bit 'pain' in my heart when I see LG with the new dude... But I tell myself, it is time to let her go. She is not mine to begin with... and why should I feel for a girl that treats me so cruel, after all the things I have sacrificed for her? Stupid me... never learn, sigh!

That day convo saw her eye to eye, then I look another way... I didn't take any picture with her too, sad.

Oh well... life is like that I guess ><

Showcase was the bomb!

These couple of days were busy helping to prepare for the showcase, cause I'm one of the committee members (hospitality). Say only but mainly because I have the car, so I fetch them here and there to buy stuffs. I was tired but happy helping them, but damn tulan when the 'brat' did not appreciate it and keeps complaining stuffs. Emo rich brat, wat to do... -_-

Yesterday was the showcase. The night before we were doing our last minute 'hunting' and testing with the equipments in the hall. So, feeling tired cause slept late, I woke up early in the morning and dressed up as a 'cowboy sheriff' before heading over to fetch them at 8am. As expected they were late, some more I need to go up to the brat's house to help take stuffs... fine.

After all done, I help took some stuffs downstairs, into my car. There were super heavy stuffs, making me need to go super slow else my car would have hit the bumper while moving over it. I jokingly said 'Wahlao, so heavy... die lor my car'. Then the idiot brat said 'If u die then we didn't slept the night before die a long time liao lor!'. WTF!?! I wanted to tuut him back and call him to get down and walk to college! But I did not want any war... yet. So I kept quite to his f*cking sarcastic remarks. Emo brat... just let him be.

So a lot was done from getting ready the equipments to buying the food from Wangsa Maju (chicken chop rice). The first part was our TVC (tv commercial), which wasn't the best at all. After lunch it was MV (music video). This was our pride and joy, our precious production!

Last time when I heard that the lecturer said some of the team members cried when they look at their video being cast for the audience to see, I thought it was kind of over-reacting. But when I stand there, in front of all the crowds... and our MV was being projected for all to see, I was... stunned. Looking back on how much sweat, tears and energy was put on it, the feeling was... special. And when the part I suggested to be taken was shown, it looked damn 'yeng' until some of the crowd cheered at it! Suddenly I was so 'kam dong' until some tears came out of my eyes by itself... omg! Until the end of the MV, people cheered and I was more touched... our MV did it, WE DID IT!!! The feeling was AWESOME... damn!

Later when all MV was showed, all were given a paper to vote for the best mv and tvc. Best TVC went to the Avira group, and mc's group got 3rd place, shocking! Best MV was Ray's group, but WE got the THIRD place among 27 groups! YES BABY!! Another joyful moment I wouldn't forget... XD

Then the committee member's were invited to the front by the lecturer to give praises and salute for doing such a good job to make the showcase a success. I was happy that I am one of them... although we did not get much in return, I was happy to play a part in it. The brat of course keeps complaining and said he won't join anything like this anymore, which is GOOD cause I don't want to see him anymore! Why complain when you were the one who volunteered in the first place? STUPID! lol...

Took a lot of nice pics, including with LG who dressed so nicely, like a doll. She even created a fake hair out of cloth! Nice!! I also took the initiative to take some pics with W and CK cause they were wearing a mask, and CK dressed like a cat, lol. Ya... you could say that I forgiven them liao, haha...

Overall it was a superbly fun day, except those moments when the brat ruined some for me. Damn I hate EMO kids!!! The event ended nearly at 7pm, from 10am. I took some leftover foods back. Then at 10pm went out again to join Danny them for 2 hours of CS. Tired and AWESOME day for me...! XD

A shine of light

Yesterday was a glorious day... a happy day. One of my classmate who wanted to shift class wasn't granted permission. Luckily I asked to group with him since last sem, so he asked if I wanted to join his group. Yes! Just what I wanted... a group who is hardworking and talented... and most of all, they wanted me to join than me asking (which feels like begging) to join. They did a good job in video editing last sem, which is perfect cause we will be making a lot of video productions this sem.

Yesterday went for lunch with them. The dude was very funny and friendly. I was even more happy when he joke with another friend, saying that I'm a good class rep and he's not (Robin). Although it was just a teasing, that's the first time anyone said it to me. Guess that I value a little bit of 'praising' for all the shit I went through as a class rep. No one appreciates and said thanks... so joking about it is the best thing I could ever receive.

So W went off the hook... I did not do any 'vengeance' on her although I'm still hurt and mad at her for abandoning me just like that. This sem I will definately treat her colder and harsher... no more mister nice guy. Ignoring her seems to be working fine... for now. She will be the last place I turn for help, and the last place I will offer any help. Fair, right? >)

Ok... new semester will officially start soon... that means projects and assignments will come rushing in like mad cows very fast. No more time for love or affection or whatever crap people wants to say it or 'label' it... As long as I know it's true, I don't need to do any explanation to anyone. Like what Bon Jovi sang... 'IT'S.. MY..... LIFE!'

Hatred... can I really?

Yesterday started college at 8am, so freaking early... The lecture wasn't boring, so still can survive... haha. Then went for lunch with Danny gang at Steven Corner. Rush back for class ganti, which is full of people because nearly cramped 3 class into 1 class. Then dont know where to lepak, cause got 2 hours break... finally no choice, went to the pondok and sat with Robin, W, CK and Tommy.

Actually didn't really see W for quite some time even though the sem has started week 2, because I was still mad at her. Then realized I also didn't really look at CK the same amount of time. Rupanya the 2 of them have a 'new' hairstyle... Ck cut short her hair while W's hair grew longer. Hey... wth am I so ambil berat of their hair!? -_-''

Anyway W talked to me like nothing had happened... which I just replied with short sentences. I can't totally ignore her else they will know something's 'wrong', so I must reply one way or another. Then Dak came, luckily. So I started to chat about games with him till times up and we went for tutorial. I shouldn't be mad... should I? I hate these feelings.....! ><

It was 'Arts law'... which sounds pretty serious to me. At first the 'lawyer' came in with black glasses, making me feel that she's a mean and strict woman. But later when she taught us, it wasn't bad! She knows her law very well, and somehow I was interested in her teachings too. Maybe because I want to hear more examples of case studies. MC say she's pretty, haha...

After that went back. Then they going GK to celebrate LH's bday at 7pm but I couldn't go cause bro took the car until 8pm. Later knew from FB that Daniel saw CK in Wangsa Maju... so I asked them if they wanted to yamcha, and they all ok. So I became the driver and fetched Daniel, CK to eat (she haven't eat dinner... and it's 10pm!) at BRJ. I also long time no go BRJ liao...

Chat, ate, drink... David joined us later. It was fun with CK around, as she's a cute girl with funny expressions and have a mature thinking to boot. I was mostly having the -_-'' look when she and David made those 'jokes', lol.

She also asked me 'why you so quiet when we were in the pondok today at school? is it because what we were talking doesn't suit you?' o.O!... She also perasan r!?! Swt betul... but I just lied and say some excuses. Sigh... future endeavors in school will be much harder than I thought ><>

Today morning had a fun chat with MC in FB... It sounded like this:

MC: Yesterday celebrate lh birthday til very late...today wake up early in the morning..go kolej....the staf inside lab said tis week no practical...i heard people said got...then kns waiting bus bec home...wait dao siao~ balik rumah...z.z.z.z.zz.zZZZZ...i am so blur!!!!!!!!!!

Me: haiyoh, y no ask me b4 go? later need go back for lecture pula...

MC: i tot everyone aso go ma~later i din go ler...sianz.....tq u aways care for me...good brothr...

Me: wah first time ppl call me good brother... next time call me 'kai kor' la, lol... XD

Mc: kai kor is wat????

Me: abang angkat, haha...

Mc: jason...abang angkat ...hi!

Me: yes adik pilla... u not going lecture later ka?

Mc: ya..bang.......wan me tel how many time......lol

Me: ok dik... cya later

Haha, it's so fun chatting with MC... maybe cause she's lonely like me, nothing else to to, no one to talk to. Sigh... this sem really making me sometimes feeling so up, sometimes feeling so down. Headache and siennnnn!!!

Snooker near TBR

Today went to school at 12pm... woke up at 11am cause yesterday slept at 5am, so damn tired. Arrived in the parking lot and saw W's car, don't bother... Then into the lecture hall. Saw Alvin sat on one side, so I sat at another side. Wanted to go sit there cause LG sat on that side, but resisted. I don't want to look 'desperate' again. But when the class end I did say bye to her, seems like a routine to only say bye to her every lecture, haha...

After finished business with the lecturers, plan with friends on where to eat lunch. Then saw LG, which will also be joining us. Good... the more the merrier! I asked them if they wanted to take a lift in my car but because too many of them, some of them walked there (including her).

After parking my car, me, Robin and WMing head towards TBR. Saw an empty seat beside LG. I know WMing wanted to sit there, so I hurried my steps and sat next to her, hahaha! He already sat next to LG in the lecture hall, so my turn la right? lol... but actually I dowan to sit opposite of Kid only :P

We chat and ate... LG didn't eat only yamcha as she wait for her bro to fetch her. Although we sat next to each other, we didn't really talk much as we talked to other friends. So near yet so far, sadness..... Then she went back. Later I play pool with Danny, lepak a while in the snooker center which is located in TBR and then went to fetch my mom and bro from LRT.

Sigh... lately MC is having a headache of finding partners for the coming assignments, which is the same problem for me. At least she got 1 partner, I have none. W already said of finding a new partner, so I wouldn't want to go back to her group (although I want to group with CK only). Like a bubble, I am floating aimlessly... awaiting the time to be picked and 'popped' into a new group. Sad betul...

Sabar, sabar!!! ><''

First day of Sem 5

So the school have finally started again... With a half heavy, half light heart I head over to the college at 8am. The teacher was late. I look at the hall... where should I sit? Last sem without question I will find where is W and sit next to her or nearby her. But not now... not anymore. She have left a pain in my heart and I will not sit with her anymore.....

Went to sit with some U6 boys. Since I hang easily with people, I have no problem mixing into the gang. We chat, joke and talk... but somehow my eyes still look at 'that' place, sigh!

Finally the teacher came. There was some jokes, flash animation shows and 'acting' being done in that 2 hours. It wasn't boring and when I heard that his assignment needs a max of 2 person per team... my heart feel sad again. Shall I wonder aimlessly for a partner? Or should I do it alone this time? I feel more of doing it alone to prevent myself being used and hurt again...

After the lecture was over, I look over at 'that' side. W and CK was gone... but LG was there. Haha, LG... she still dress in plain and simple, but still look good for me. Maybe I was being 'perasan' again, but I feel like she's looking at me a couple of times. So finally I looked at her for a long time, waiting for her to look my way... which she did. Then I waved hi, and she smiled and waved hi too. Then she went back, alone. Like the wind... she comes and goes.....

Later thought of going out with Danny for snooker, but the emo Alvin was there... plus I need to go to the bank, so I skipped. Went back home and the lift was out of service, damn! Have to walk up 12 floors with pain, as my knee hurts nowadays... ><''

A crazy college life

So, I was feeling a bit down earlier... so try to go back to my old routine and forget her, ignore her, treat her nothing more than a friend. Easier said than done, I suddenly wanted to ask her for dinner with my friends. But she ran away faster than the wind, making my 'ambil berat' useless.

Still, I try to enjoy my dinner without thinking about her. Suddenly she SMSed me, thanking me of teaching her Photoshop and enabling her to pass up her assignment. Danny was right beside me, but she didn't thank him (the other 'teacher' that night). Feeling so happy, I foolishly typed too much SMS than I should have... thus ending the SMS in just 2 reply, bummer T_T

Forget it, she's doing another one of her 'seducing' tricks, cis...! But in college another 'war' has happened. CK and Alvin, who just became a couple not long ago, suddenly faced each other in bad moods today. It was all due to a small misunderstanding, which was caused by W, CK's good friend. It's weird how easily they get together and now how easily they might split up again. Is love supposed to be like this? So fragile and unpure...??

That is why I told my friends if being single, the bad thing you may feel lonely when you see a couple so close to each other... But if you're committed, the bad thing is... damn a lot, don't know where to start! Haha...

A bit saddened...

Gave the Winnie the Pooh decorative cups to her on Wed, but all she did was smile and said thank you. Don't know why but I feel that she doesn't really appreciate it that much... maybe because it's Winnie the Pooh? Or it's not that nice for her... whatever the reason, giving a candy to LG makes me happier than giving the bday present to her. Sadness...

The first class started yesterday, which was English class. Only 7 person came, which is considered a bit better than Wednesday which only me and W came (but class cancelled, nobody was there including the teacher). She's quite a nice woman, but I prefer my last English teacher which was way funnier, lol... Looks like this sem got 'show and tell', which I don't like very much!

My hard disk 'died', so now can only use one computer instead of two. Sharing a com between three person is so hard! Oh, that day I saw a girl that looks like Wendy shopping in Jusco, but it's not her. The funny thing about the girl is she tries to buy ONE piece of garlic! After the Jusco people say cannot as it is to light to even be weight, she later went back with THREE small pieces of garlic...! Lol, that was funny. At least but 100g la, hahaha...!

First day of second sem

Went there early as my bro got class earlier. After checking out the new name list (I still couldn't believe our class got 'separated'), went one hour early to the lecture hall to see if there's anyone there. Shocked to see there was a couple of people inside, and all of them are my classmates! (some ex liao) Hardworking? I donno... lol

Soon half of the lecture hall is filled up with people. Saw LG too... she dress a bit more smart than last time, nice... Pity we are not in the same class anymore. W also came and we chat together with other friends, LG included. Soon we realised we came for nothing, as the lecture was cancelled again! (yesterday also got one lecture but cancelled)

Then thought of going to Jusco for lunch, but mom smsed me said on the way back liao. So cancelled. After fetching my mom and bro, mom accidentally broke the door handle. So went to fix it, then after finished fixing, the stupid mechanic did something wrong and made the main window switch to burned when I pressed it! So another thing need fixing, totalled up RM230! What a bad luck day... -_-

Bought a pair of mini cups for W as her belated bday present, wonder if she'll like it? I bought it cause there's Winnie the Pooh picture on it... and her name starts with W, hehe... XD


P/S: New dota is out! Ver 6.55, got so many changes, 2 new heroes, new items... can't wait to try it out against people tomorrow!

A shocking Friday

Yesterday I thought was another normal day... 3 more days till college reopens. Suddenly received a shocking sms from a classmate. It looks like HALF of our class is changing to another class! Maybe some new ones will come in. But HALF!?! So sad to see so many of my friends... now not classmates anymore. No more hanging out together, no more doing work together.....

Fate has also parted me and LG, leaving her with the other friends. I hope she will communicate more in this new semester with them thus not becoming so lonely like the last semester. I will not be there to help her anymore, I hope the others will... 

Luckily fate has keep me and W together... her name is just 2-3 above mine, and I think below my name (or two) will all be shifted to the new class. I also SMSed W on the class changes, and we exchange SMS yesterday for hours! XD Lost one, remained with another... not a total lost I guess. But no syok is another guy I hated is still in my class, argh!

Today went to Japanese class blur blur, as usual. Carrie also joined, then went to find her sis at lowyat Plaza. David joined later, when we were having lunch. Then went to see their classmates (only 2) for a small reunion, ate at sushi king. Then buy some stuff at Lowyat, and went back around 6pm. Tomorrow last day of holiday, then start a new beginning liao... sigh.

On the third day of mass call...

I went late cause send bro to LRT,
But there was another more late than meee.....

On the third day of mass call...
A young girl sat next to me,
Never seen her again after she went to peeee.....

On the third day of mass call...
so front I sit I could see clearly,
but alone, I feel so miniiiii.....

On the third day of mass call...
the teacher was humorous and friendly,
they even play games with thier hand and kneeee.....

On the third day of mass call...
After lunch alone I went CC,
Cannot stand (for the next class) I became 'Mr Skip-pieeee.....'


So nothing much today, but go class, the funny teacher taught us about time management and how to relief stress, those stuffs. Then I feel the next class would be useless too, so I skip it (since it was taught by the same teacher and I already took my attendance). The End.

Mass call TARC 2008

Woke up earlier than the alarm clock, today was an important day. It's the mark of a student from SSH, going to start a new beginning in the big big world of college... TAR college. Studying among students which are way younger of age, what will the day's adventure brings?


When he reach the main hall, there was quite a number of students already in line to enter the big building. Strange thing is, the male line is way shorter than the female's, thus enabling him to get his new TARC clothes and kit in a matter of minutes. Luckily the clothes still fit, but then he regrets not wearing a belt with his loose jeans! Walking slowly, he enters the hall.


Soon he was seating between two guys on the right side of the hall. There's a tall dude sitting in front of him and his ear piercing looks... painful. The hall slowly was filled with students and finally full. Two young people host the event and luckily they wasn't as boring as the crowd, which is either shy or haven't taken their breakfast.


Mostly introducing the VIPs of the school, it was really a boring session. Luckily the Head of SSH was a funny dude, although he wasn't 'young'. Some of the jokes he said was 'This 2 week will be Speaking English week. I hope you all will try your best to speak in English because even when DOTA-ing, you type in English right? When you 'piak' the enemies...' Looks like the old also knew of DOTA, nice...


Saw one of his old teachers which shifted from his old school, he was shocked that he was not using the same name frequently used then. But one of the experienced lecturers, he was teaching Creative Arts and Hospitality. Rare chance he will be teaching him, he thoughts... When the SSH VIPs moved out of the hall, they began to disband too. Thought of finally able to go home, when he stepped out of the hall, there was another school tour he was supposed to join, but this time among Multimedia Design students only.


Feeling the need to know his future colleagues, he entered the tour, which was badly done by the unserious seniors. It was Speaking English week, yet sometimes they use Mandarin to describes the buildings around. If I wasn't a senior myself, I would have been more clueless after the tour. Some was even asking each other questions regarding the admin stuffs, although they studied two years there. Two words... Unprepared 'Seniors'.


Finally the tour is at its end, he will need to go for another event tomorrow at nine. This time they will select the Course Rep, which he doubts he wants to be among the 200++ students. He was glad there was some cute and beautiful girls in the course too, but he didn't spot any within his preferences to his dream gal. Maybe time will tell if this course could heal him from his old sickness in the heart. Maybe.....

Life and decisions

You know sometimes it will come a time when you need to make a fatal decision that will affect the rest of your life, and there's no turning back after choosing it? Well... the time has come, again, for me.....

---

Ah... time is getting closer, as TARC open day is coming soon. Should I continue, or choose a new career path? There's many new courses, which sounds fun and exciting... but that will waste 2 more years of my life. But if I don't do it, then I may regret it for the rest of my life, working like a dog and designing stuffs that most Malaysian just won't appreciate, in front of a boring computer. Decisions, decisions...!

Yup... it looks like I may change to another new course, the final one, to be made into my lifetime career. GD doesn't seem to suit me after trying it out at a GD office. The pressure, the workload... it's just too much for a person like me to handle. As pain as for me to admit, I may not be suitable to work in a creative sector as I imagined I could be.

Which course, I haven't decide... there's a minor chance that I will continue to finish my GD, and a bigger % that I will start my life fresh with a new course. This time I vow to fully give it my all, or GDMTOH! Sounds serious... but it's a decision I have to make.

---

Sigh... it really tires me being a human being sometimes.....

Time extended...!

Luckily the teacher suddenly told my friend that the accessment will be delayed next week, if not I sure die liao! So another week to do it or end up fail...! >.< Last sem, if fail need to pay RM3k+ again! Argh...!!

Thanks to David he fetch me to MIA today and I consulted with the teacher on what to do to improve my work, and gave me a guideline on which direction I should be headed. One week... is that enough? So tau tong...! T_T

3D assignment kautim...!

Fuh, finally kautim the stupid 3D assignment... donno why the more I do it, the more I feel interested (to see the outcome). It turned out ok ok only, then the stupid teacher say I took pic from the internet and use it for my own (OMG, the others do it why u no say one!?!). It was a animation with sound on RBO2, my creation, lol. Too bad too big cannot post here, haha... ^^:

Good news (bad news)...

Sorry long time no post, been busy with projects... Oh well, the good news is now I have little time for games or other stuffs, cause my assignments are due very soon, and I have not even start doing it! >.< Have a bad feeling that I will fail at least one with the limited time set by the school (all my classmate die with me also, lol). Such unjustice, but I malas complain liao... if really fail then maybe I should write a letter to the editor complaining about my shitty school? maybe...

Argh, some more my bday coming soon (end of this month)...! All my friends also seem to be busy. Hope I can 'delay' my celebration and do it maybe after I'm free, or during Christmas? Up to them la... Hope my bday will be as fun as (or more than) last year. Once a year wor, of course must be unforgetful lah, right? ;P

Presentation done

Today really bad day... although I know sure kena critisize by the teachers, then he give me some kind of shit... that I also dont understand!!! I am doing post sign designs, but he told me to do it in 3D animation OR make small sizes of it (like those mini house modals) WTF!?! Then he told me he wont accept if I do it in paper form... then how the hell am I supposed to show the info out if I dont print it out!?! Bloody confusing... now I dont even know which direction I'm heading! Is they supposed to teach us...or make us confused!??! -_-

Wednesday present visual layout!

Got approved my stuffs... and in the end, I'm going to do signage publication design (or something like that). The teacher say I will go work with the signage industry if I do it (ha!?!) for my portfolio... Argh, what the heck, just do it la! This wed need to present liao, no time to chg or think! Damn... so much to do, so little time. Want me die meh!!?! >.<;