Lately...

Lately life in college has been busy. A lot of assignments, one of them involving finding a real client and make a website (for free) for then. The client is our choice but must be in the category of charity house. First time need to do these kind of stuffs, wow...

And since I am in a new semester, I don't have a partner that will always be with me when we do group assignments. Don't have a partner of 2, sometimes have a partner when in groups of 4-5. I wonder why is it this way? When I asked one of my best friends (girl), she told me it's not my fault but due to the age gap thingy. I was shocked... and sad. Shouldn't have told some of my friends my age back then... now it's too late to take it back, sigh!

No matter... if the tide comes, I shall swim against it! If there's a group of 2, I believe I can do it solo! Yes... that's the only choice I have, for now... T_T

On the news with LG... she still haven't un-ban me in FB. Either she didn't know how to do it (highly doubt so) or she still don't want to do it. I even got to know that she banned me in her MSN too, haha. Fine... if you don't want peace, I don't give a damn too. Don't say I didn't try though, haha...

No, I will not feel sad because of this. It's so normal for me that in college, she cease to exist in my world. I don't look at her anymore (unless she's in my line of sight) nor do I consider she's around even if she's standing beside me. 99% cured of LG, yay!!!

So busy even no time for magic... and with the World Cup on now, I'm only able to watch some of it (cause most of it is being aired on midnights). Nearly all of my classes starts at 8 or 9am too, sigh...!

The end of a war?

Tonight had a fun night with my classmates... and a lecturer, Mr Aaron. Now only I realized I am older than him, paiseh... haha. Anyway, he talks about a lot of stuffs, which is interesting to hear too. We are on one table (me, JH, Mr Aaron, LH, LG and Robin) while on the other table which is connected are WM, Wennie, LH, Echun, Pilla and EF. We went to eat steamboat buffet at a store in GK, from 6 something to 11 something. Five hours of fun for RM20, okla!

But the most shocked thing happened was when we were going to leave. Lai Har suddenly came next to me and said 'I heard you and LG still don't talk to each other'. I was like 'WTF!? Who told her!!?'. Then she said we should be friends, bla, bla... make me shake hands with LG, then said sorry if she somehow make us like that and said in the end if she came back later and know that we are still not talking to each other, she will come and scold me... haha,...... swt -_-''

Urgh, suddenly pushed to become friends back with LG seems... forced. But if it wasn't forced, no doubt we will remain like that till we die. A cold war... should I stop it? Although she did most of the wrong, should I still give respect to LH and befriend with her again? A part of me wants, another part of me doesn't.

IF we do become friends again, I want to write a letter to her... telling her all the bad things she has been doing, how she hurt my heart by accusing me when I took so good care of her all these years and how she should change. Maybe THEN will I become friends back with her, after expressing all my feelings to her on an email. Should I... do it now??

Sigh.....

Emotions

Sometimes it's so hard to control your emotions... sometimes. Before this maybe I cared too much for a good friend, suddenly I got scared and those emotions stopped. It took some time... but it stopped. Maybe because I haven't really fall in love before, that's why emotions took over me, easily... most of the time.

Trying not to think about her... get myself busy with games or other activities... slowly the heart will cool down. It's true what people say that time will heal. But 100% heal? I doubt so. However also, I think there is still that tiny miny flame left inside... if the love was true at one point of time. True love will never die.

So now I am able to subdue my feelings... but for how long? Need to keep myself busy or the mind will wonder again. If the mind is kept busy, the heart will not have time to 'feel'. It's one way to keep the aching heart... asleep.

I doubt she have any feelings for me... another one way love, again. So I can stop dreaming and wake up to reality... I can..... I know I can....... soon.