Updates Nov 2010

Lately feeling a lot of pressure from studies. First part, which field am I heading for my future...? After much consideration, I feel that making movies is my interest. Since I did quite well for my FYP (got an A and I was the Director) and I have interest in making video, so production is my choice. I gave the demo reel assignment to the lecturer and she recommended me 2 production companies, which is good compared to some others who didn't have any recommended companies as their demo reel wasn't concentrated in which field they are interested in. Poor MC...

Then there is another assignment this semester which is linked to my coming FYP. I need to find a partner which is in the same interest as me, but none interested in production. The ones who did are not closed to me and have their own partners in mind. So, another assignment I need to solo... and I sent the proposal to the lecturer. Lucky I'm not the only one, so I'm allowed to solo in this min 2 person assignment.

Last week just finished a presentation. It was a role-playing presentation, where I am the chairman and we are discussing about the production of a movie in a meeting. My group of 5, I was the only guy. They made the presentation fun (in one part I was singing Oh My God, rather than saying it out), which I scared was too un-serious for a presentation. But the teacher like it very much! Our group got the highest among the whole class as we were fun, grab attention from the audience as well as loud enough to be heard. I was the best too, as the teacher only gave me good commenta, none bad ones (all the others have at least one bad comment). And he said I was a good chairperson as I was in control of the meeting and loud enough to be heard. Yay! Happy la... cause so long no praised by teacher liao ^^

In the love department... LG is definitely going out with that new pro guy. Always see her with him, wherever she goes. Sad? A bit... but more towards happy. Happy cause I am not 'tied' to her anymore, after that bad incident... Whenever a girl I like is 'possessed' by another guy, my feelings for her will automatically die (100%). Now I wonder if the guy can stand her, cause she barely have any skills while he has all of it (means he will do a lot of assignment for her, no doubt, haha). Sucks being him I bet, lol... I see a little bit of me in him, where we are too kind until we can't say no to helping people. I see him helping a lot of people doing this and that assignment, until being used also dont know. Maybe he wants it that way? I donno... good luck to him anyway.

Here's hoping I will be a successful Director in the future! (now that I think of it, none of my friends or family are involved in productions except me... which makes me scared and proud at the same time, haha) CHEERS~! XD

Bad start of new semester

It's been 2 weeks since the new sem started... Last week was fun as me, my bro and my mom went for vacation in Genting. We have a lot of free rooms coupon to use, so we stayed for 3 days 2 night (can be another night but we decided to left around 6pm). Applied for the Genting card, got RM20 in my card to be used to play those jackpot machine for free. Overall learn a lot from the gambling scene in Genting... :x

But then disaster strike as soon as I come back down... opened the computer, play for some time, then suddenly it went *ka poot*. Cannot open back, keep making those beeping sound. Found out from Daniel should be graphic card problem (died). Sigh...

Then started college in a new environment, new class. A lot of friends are in the other class, which is a good and bad thing. When the going gets though, the though gets going... die also must go on! But sadness wraps the heart.

Bro also went to Penang for his practicals, 3 month will be back. Still with this incident, there are pros and cons (mostly pros, haha). Most significant is I dont need to worry much anymore (about his bad doings) XD

Love life... nothing much. Seem like LG really going out much with the new talented guy, maybe bf liao? Not my business, just feel a tiny weeny itsy bitsy envy, haha... YL on the other hand I missed more... especially when I saw her vacation pics on FB. Oh well, can't do much about it either.

Thinking about it as a whole, feels like being single has its good traits too. No responsibility to another... more time and money for myself, can do whatever I like without being nagged of one thing or another. Ya I know life will go on and eventually I need to find a life partner, but no rush needed, right? ^^

Dead busy!

Assignments, assignments, assignments! So damn many freaking assignments that I hardly have any time for games... which is really bad!

Lately maybe influence by Daniel, had some dreams of dating YL. In the dream she is already my gf, lol... it was a nice dream, although not perfect. I am still wondering if we have any chance together... nah!

LG is still being cold at me, as usual. I don't really mind at first, cause I was mad at her too. But now I am starting to be a bit forgiving... yet she still behaves the same. Looking back at old photos on how we used to yamcha whenever we are free does make me feel a bit... sayang. Oh well, better late than never! (in knowing her real attitude)

W is totally out the picture... cause now I know my 'love' for her was actually a feeling of affection, when I was feeling lonely and down last time. After clearing up my mind, I discover she is not my type I would spend the rest of my life with, haha. So must think clearly before choosing a gf... cause I want 'her' to be my first, and my last (not anything in between).

Cant really say that this is a nice semester... cause I have to go solo on a two person project. Hopefully I can still find a group where I belong next semester, but it will be hard... since most people have their own 'groups' liao. For the first time I wish they will never be anymore group assignments... solo is best! No need care if the other members got do their job or not... people cannot 'leech' your marks if they do badly (or nothing!).



Sigh, where is the fun of college life!?! T_T

Lately...

Lately life in college has been busy. A lot of assignments, one of them involving finding a real client and make a website (for free) for then. The client is our choice but must be in the category of charity house. First time need to do these kind of stuffs, wow...

And since I am in a new semester, I don't have a partner that will always be with me when we do group assignments. Don't have a partner of 2, sometimes have a partner when in groups of 4-5. I wonder why is it this way? When I asked one of my best friends (girl), she told me it's not my fault but due to the age gap thingy. I was shocked... and sad. Shouldn't have told some of my friends my age back then... now it's too late to take it back, sigh!

No matter... if the tide comes, I shall swim against it! If there's a group of 2, I believe I can do it solo! Yes... that's the only choice I have, for now... T_T

On the news with LG... she still haven't un-ban me in FB. Either she didn't know how to do it (highly doubt so) or she still don't want to do it. I even got to know that she banned me in her MSN too, haha. Fine... if you don't want peace, I don't give a damn too. Don't say I didn't try though, haha...

No, I will not feel sad because of this. It's so normal for me that in college, she cease to exist in my world. I don't look at her anymore (unless she's in my line of sight) nor do I consider she's around even if she's standing beside me. 99% cured of LG, yay!!!

So busy even no time for magic... and with the World Cup on now, I'm only able to watch some of it (cause most of it is being aired on midnights). Nearly all of my classes starts at 8 or 9am too, sigh...!

The end of a war?

Tonight had a fun night with my classmates... and a lecturer, Mr Aaron. Now only I realized I am older than him, paiseh... haha. Anyway, he talks about a lot of stuffs, which is interesting to hear too. We are on one table (me, JH, Mr Aaron, LH, LG and Robin) while on the other table which is connected are WM, Wennie, LH, Echun, Pilla and EF. We went to eat steamboat buffet at a store in GK, from 6 something to 11 something. Five hours of fun for RM20, okla!

But the most shocked thing happened was when we were going to leave. Lai Har suddenly came next to me and said 'I heard you and LG still don't talk to each other'. I was like 'WTF!? Who told her!!?'. Then she said we should be friends, bla, bla... make me shake hands with LG, then said sorry if she somehow make us like that and said in the end if she came back later and know that we are still not talking to each other, she will come and scold me... haha,...... swt -_-''

Urgh, suddenly pushed to become friends back with LG seems... forced. But if it wasn't forced, no doubt we will remain like that till we die. A cold war... should I stop it? Although she did most of the wrong, should I still give respect to LH and befriend with her again? A part of me wants, another part of me doesn't.

IF we do become friends again, I want to write a letter to her... telling her all the bad things she has been doing, how she hurt my heart by accusing me when I took so good care of her all these years and how she should change. Maybe THEN will I become friends back with her, after expressing all my feelings to her on an email. Should I... do it now??

Sigh.....

Girls are sometimes so cruel

Got some new news from my 'spy'... looks like LG is gossiping about me to my other friends, behind my back. At first I thought we shouldn't be enemies, since we are classmates soon, and being the gentleman I SHOULD forgive her. But now she's telling everyone that I blocked her in FB (which I only block her from seeing my post, she BAN me in FB), making me look more like the bad guy here. Unforgivable! How can a kind girl like her do these stuffs!? Is she just plain ignorant and childish... or just plain stupid!?!

I'm tired of these 'words war'. If people want to believe her then fine... but I know most don't, cause she's getting famous for being the talkative bi**h who tell secrets around, and tell them not to tell anyone else. I will definitely not give a damn about her anymore, seeing that she 'hates' me so much and tell everyone of my 'bad things' and pretend she's the victim here. She sucks when handling assignments, and most of my classmates knows that. Now that the aunty who's always been in her group is stopping for a year, let's see how she deal with her problems NOW... ALONE!

It's so so sad to see the girl you once loved, doing all of this to you... even though you sacrificed so much for her last time. Ungrateful... childish... backstabber... faker... I WILL NOT TOUCH THIS MEDUSA ANYMORE!!!

The end is coming, a new beginning is approaching...

Wow... been quite a long time since I blogged. Can't be helped, cause every time I wanted to blog, there's this 'bad feeling' that haunts me. Bad memories of me and LG becoming enemies... seems like I still can't shake the feeling off even though she's in the wrong. Hmm, looks like my feeling for her indeed became deeper else I wouldn't give a damn about a girl like her. Sigh, why la!?

The one month holiday is coming to an end... will be starting college again next week. Again my heart feels heavy and uncomfortable. So many things are playing in my mind now until I have dreams about it, both good and bad. Some of them are losing my good friends... need to find new group members... need to find new people to hang out with... worrying who will be in my new class, and etc. No doubt LG plays the biggest fear of all, as I don't know if I will be in the same class with her next sem... and what will I do if she IS? Ignore her, chat with her like nothing happened or...??? Kns, why am I always worrying about these petty stuffs?!!

Advance diploma is coming... more things to learn, more burden to handle. I don't want to mess up my mind with love stuffs like LG anymore! ><''

Had a nightmare this morning on LG... and it felt so real. I went to a place and accidentally bumped into her, eye to eye. She said nothing, nor did I. We just go to our own destination as though the other didn't exist. First I was relieved... then I felt kind of sad... and more sad. What does it all mean?

Two weeks ago went for bbq at YL's house. At first I was very happy, awaiting to see YL again. But when I DO see her... somehow the 'umph!' was not there anymore. Seeing her felt more like... 'just another friend' liao. It becomes worse when I heard about her expectations in her future BF. CM did so much more than me in wooing her, following her and pindah here and there so he can be close to her. Sophiya told us about this, and I was shocked. Poor CM has no chance with her... and I felt even further from her. The 2 of us fell for the same person, and if he doesn't stand a chance, where do I even stand? No wonder my feelings for her is disappearing. The jargon between us is just too wide and far away. My 10 year crush is going to stop, soon.....

I think I should just concentrate on my studies, no need to bother about love and stuffs. It's just too complicated for me to handle. It gives me more pain than happiness. Just studying, playing games, hanging out with friends and flirting around seems more carefree and happy for me. Oh no, am I becoming like Daniel!? lol...

FYP has ended... and maybe a friendship too

Finally the FYP has ended... A lot of effort are put into it until I really no time for DOTA or yamcha with my friends. The sad thing is I feel like my group doesn't like me very much... maybe I'm not their 'group'... maybe I'm too old for them... maybe my style is not the same as theirs. Whatever the reason is, there are ups and downs when doing the FYP project and I am happy with the outcome.

Doing the exhibition for 2 days there was some lecturers and even the Head of School who came to our booth and said that our assignment was very interesting. It is a documentary on God possession and some other festivals in a temple. They said that we should try to send it to Astro or Discovery Chanel and sell our documentary if we fix it a bit more, haha... Or at least send to FINAS to get an award which will greatly help for our portfolio later in the working world. The HoS asked us to send a copy so the school can use it for other students to watch and learn from our documentary... cool!

Bad thing is when I was doing the documentary with my group... it was a harsh week, all did not get enough sleep and keep doing the video non-stop. I did my part, and went home to wait continue doing my part on one night. So, to relieve tension and make a joke, I wrote in my FB 'People who do not get enough sleep sometimes turn into monsters... haha'. It was a fun remark, any right minded people can see that...

BUT Miss LG didn't! She badly commented me back, saying how they become monsters but other ppl so good can go back home and sleep... -_- Ok... I went back to wait for HER part to finish, what is the use of me not sleeping AND doing nothing!? Keep shoot me, say me should not call her monster, this and that (I DIDNT even wrote her NAME). So I just take it all down and jokingly brush it all off cause I don't want to make a fuss about it. But it doesn't end there.....

She so childishly COMPLAIN to another group member, the eldest person in our group (woman in her thirties). Then she go scold me in SMS and said I should remove those remarks. WTF!?! I was damn pissed... no one would be so CHILDISH and whine about these stuffs except HER! I was even busy doing the FYP that night, which in the end only slept for 3 hours. So I disable her FB to see my posts and I wrote in FB 'Here I am, busy doing my FYP... but I got scolded for a joke I make. What is this world coming too?'. I know she will see it somehow, cause she is a BUSYBODY.

And saw the message she did... through her sis's FB. So we debate and debate, she still thinks she is not wrong for being 'close minded' and said it was my fault for joking it. FINE... so I stopped the msg-ing inFB and continue to do my FYP. Later she totally blocked me in FB too, wahahaha...!

Sighhh... am I supposed to be happy or sad that this relationship turned into such a bad state? She never knew that ALL this while, I am ALWAYS on her side no matter how wrong or bad she is... cause I F**KINGLY like her. She thought I'm bad and evil, with some bad propaganda behind. FiNe...! If you think I'm such a BAD person, then go ahead and ignore me. I don't need a close minded girl like you as my friend..... To think that I sacrificed so much for her, argh... what a FOOL I am!!

Goodbye LG... I hope you will continue your studies in Kampar, so I won't have to see you again. It only pains my heart to see you......... only mine...

Emo oh emo...

Sigh... lately feel so emo. Hate this feeling... but can't stop this feeling. Sadness falling on me like tears from above, can't run no matter where I go. Starting to feel demotivated although pretend to be strong on the front lines... Feel like just give it all up and leave this sickening world.

No I'm not lovesick... I'm just having a serious case of demotivation. Why? Because of THEM... my so called friends/ coursemates/ group members. I shouldn't be saddened by these couple of fools that think badly of me, for things I did not done to them... which I don't know why they still doesn't accept me as a 'real' friend. I did not kill their parents, nor did I do anything bad to them. I tried my best to be a good director, always giving a helping hand eventhough they didn't ask for it, be as friendly as I can... but still they treat me nothing more than a... 'person to work with', ONLY.

FML... fML... fmL... Fml...FmL...fMl...FMl...FmL...fmL.....!!!!!!! I am so weak to be disturbed by these petty people. I should ignore them and continue on with my life. In the future, I will not meet them anymore nor will I treat them as friends... as what they do to me now. Revenge is sweet, but it is not of my choosing. Like karma, I will do to people what they do to me, good and both alike...! Do not think I will be so kind and stupid enough and forget all of these things in the future. The fire will take a miracle to perish... the fire of vengence.....!!!

It's really sickeningly sad to see the girl I once love and would always be there for her... now treats me nothing more than a monster. I wish I never knew her... I wish I would not see her anymore, as every glimpse makes the hatred gone and comes back even bigger in the end. Why cant I tear out my heart and remove her image from it!? Why can't I go into my brain and destroy every memory I had with her!? Why is it so F**kingly pain in the inside that I couldn't do anything to erase it!!?! WHHHYYYYY!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!

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..... FML

Johor FYP trip, 1st week

Ah... finally went outstation after staying in KL for such a long time. Did went to Pahang on CNY but no stay over, so don't count... haha. Sat woke up early morning, get ready the final stuffs, played some final FB games, then my bro sent me to LRT. Was a bit late, but LG keep complaining when I reached there, swt...

My bag was so heavy... shouldn't have brought so many clothes. Lucky I could pull my bag as there was a function in the bag. I was sweating like a pig when I reached Pudu bus station as it was hot, I was carrying my freaking heavy bag (I didnt notice the pull thingy until nearly reached the bus station) and I need to help LG take one of her bag. She doesn't appreciate it at all I can see... so I'm doing it all BECAUSE I'm a man. FML...

The trip in the bus was five hour, but I didn't feel any carsick as the seat was comfy and there was enough space for me to lean the chair to sleep a bit. Unfortunately I sat beside LG, because KLiang wanted to sit next to JH, which I said I wanted to sit with earlier. Nvm... I know KL sitting with LG will be even worse, so I 'sacrificed' and let him the seat... which I know she thinks like I WANT to sit next to her. Again, FML...

In the whole trip I didn't talk to her, only offered help and sweets... cause I know she doesn't want to talk to me either, so both happy is we don't talk to each other. Reached Pontian, I was happy cause I don't need to 'stuck' next to her anymore. We went for lunch, and I ate Wan Tan Mee, Pontian style. It was reddish color as they poured something like chili and tomato mixture into the mee rather than black soy sauce. The mee was quite huge (cause I ordered big) and the bowl of soup that comes with it has a lot of food, including meatball, wantan and fishball. I thought it was cheap to eat so much things for a bowl of Wan Tan Mee... but then realised the price was near KL price, RM5++. Plus eating 2 piece of otak otak (50 cents each) and a cup of Sarsi, all cost me RM7.80. Who says Johor food was cheap!?

Feeling full, I don't mind the price. Then Echun's dad came, in his 4 wheel drive car. Not enough place for the 7 of us, so we 3 boys sit at the back, in the open space part. It was my first time sitting at the back of a 4 wheel drive. It wasn't fun when u need to squat at the back, especially when the car hit a stop, turning or a bump. But the taste of wind flowing through your face was... good. Our first stop was the temple.

Wow... the temple was HUGE. And beautiful too... with colors and carvings all over it, I feel comfortable being there. Echun's dad even paid for the joysticks (all of us) so we can start giving our prayers from one God to another. So long have I not done this, and I feel happy to finally able to do it again (cause parents are too busy to bring us to the temple in KL). I was amazed at all the God statues there, cause usually there wasn't that much in a temple. It was a big temple indeed. Following Echun's guide, we prayed the Gods in the right sequence. After that we had a look around. We decided to drop at the big Goddess of Mercy statue first.

The GOM part was more interesting, as when you kneel to pray, water will flow from her vase down to a bowl of water. It's because there is a mechanism on the floor that will allow water to flow when weight is put on it. Cool! There was also the 'kao chim' there, so we had a go with it (not all of us). I was asking for relationship question, so I prayed and throw the 2 piece thingy which I forgot the name. One opened and one closed, so I was allowed to continue. Then I shake and shake the bunch of 'chim' and finally one piece drop down. It was the same with EC's, so I throw the 2 piece to ask if it's the correct one, but both was closed. It means it wasn't the correct one, so I shake another 'chim' out. Another fell out, which was different. Again I throw the 2 piece and both came up different sides, thus revealing this is the number I was looking for.

I went to take the number and asked JH to translate it for me. It was too hard, so asked KL's help. He couldn't translate it either, so HAVE to ask the girls for help (LG was there, sigh). I was embarrassed when they asked 'what question were you asking?', so they could help me translate it. I said relationship, and they laughed, haha... So the answer was 'Your love life is not good. What you wished for will be nothing but an empty shell in the end.' Ah... so true! I actually already know the answer, but the 'kao chim' helped me to further prove that it was real. Was it a coincidence that the number I got and answer was true? I don't think so... The power of 'kao chim' was real, at least for me ^^

LH didn't get to ask as the 2 piece always end up on the same side, thus it is fate that she won't be able to receive the answer... but must seek it out herself. Then we have a walk at the pond area, where there are beautiful fishes swimming around. Then to the well, I don't know if it's a wishing well but we can scoop the water out and wash our hand or face with it's refreshing water.

Finally the time has come for us to go to Echun's house, after passing the permission letter to the temple people. Echun's house wasn't that big, but quite wealthy too. The whole house was nearly using air-cond for cooling. She also have a dog, an expensive breed. We unloaded our baggage and later her mom cooked dinner for us, which is very good...! A professional cook, just like my mom, haha. XD

Around 8.30pm we went to the temple again in her dad's truck. This time no need to kneel as there was no baggage on the back. I love the feeling of riding at the back, as the wind blow through my face... so free. Started recording a lot of stuffs, from the Tiger God event, Hit the bad man event to the God possession event. Very informative and new... my first time experience. Went back quite late. But before going back to Echun's house, her dad bring us for a midnight snack. The porridge there was Ex-Ce-Llent! It was no porridge I taste before... Johor style? Nice! ^^

The next day all was so tired, we slept till nearly 11am. Echun was sick, so we went there late as we need to wait his dad finished his badminton session + sending her to the clinic. Couldn't shot much, so we went back in the evening for the night shoot. The night shoot was again shocking, as this time there were 2 Gods in the presence at the same time, so they went to chat among each other in some kind of deep Chinese language, then walk around blessing the temple and give us a number to buy on the coming Wednesday. So special, haha...

Final day, Monday. Went for breakfast at a Malay store... was more or less like in KL, but their Milo Ais taste better. Shoot some morning scenes, which is a the final wrap up. Then went back, pack up and get ready for the trip back to KL. Will miss the temple and the friendly people there, but there is a parting for each meeting. Reached KL around 8.30pm, then went back as bro fetched me back.

There are a lot of fond memories in those 3 days... but there are some bad ones too. I don't know if it's my fault but I sense that LG doesn't like to sit beside me in the bus. Whatever the reason is, it made me really sad... and mad. Who needs her!? If she wants to sit alone, then let her be. I am getting more and more pissed at LG's attitude. Some how all my good doings are scaring her more and more... is being a nice guy so wrong!?? Does she think I have a bad intention behind all my good deeds? Sigh... FML!

So siu hei!

Hoyoh... I thought LG was more mature than most people liao, turns out she is also very fast siu hei one. Just now I MSN her and asked her some stuffs. She answered. Then I tease her 'You sure r? Just now u were chatting in lecture too wor... haha'. And guess what she replied?

"if u tak percaya me why u ask me o... u try ask other lo..."

I terus cha dou... then, trying to make her not so angry, I replied "haha, dont marah la... just asking for fun, lol"... then she terus no reply me liao. SO siu hei betul... I also malas to layan her anymore.

Looks like the once girl I thought was so kind, pretty in the inside and the outside... is slowly turning into an ugly monster. A friend of mine overheard her conversation on the phone today, said about her "she talk about someone.. say they so sweet now.. but later wont be so sweet.. cuz "sum tam" as time goes by.."

Oh my... she's turning from bad to worse in gossiping people liao. Sad to see her like that... is it she's taking too much pressure until turning into gossiping to release her anger and frustration/ sadness? I donno... and I shouldn't care.

F**k why am I caring about her so much again!?!! S*it! S*it!! S*it!!! ><''

She just don't care

Sometimes I really don't understand LG... that day I already told her I'm sick, yet she still keep pestering me to sms another group member to discuss about our FYP related stuffs. Not even a word of asking if I'm ok or not, only bug me on work stuffs. Do she think that I'm lying or avoiding responsibility when I say I'm SICK?

And yet I still talk to her and treat her so nicely on MSN, when I should be mad at her. Sigh... I need to wake up from this dream/ nightmare... fast! T_T

A CNY gathering in YL's house

Yesterday was a fun day... at least most of it. Supposed to go to Yling's house at 2 but got delayed because she went out, thus postponing it to 3.30pm. After sending my bro and parked the car at Wangsa Maju, Daniel fetched me to YL's house. Even before stepping into her house I called her, just to hear her voice (and to confirm is she at home), although we are just a few steps to her front door, haha... XD


Reached there, only YL, her 2 sis and Oon was there. Jimmy and WingC will be late an hour. So we started to look at vacation pictures of YL going to Cambodia and stuffs. I would be more interested if it were only pictures of her, but most of it was boring snapshots of other stuffs. Yawn...!


Then WingC and Jimmy came. Soon we 'open table' and started gambling on the floor, starting with Blackjack and then In Betweeen. With the power of the golden elephant (YL's vacation souvenir to me, hehe), I won RM5++ that day. Guess it's true that people with no luck in love has better luck on the gambling table... >.<'' Then Daniel went to Summit to meet David to buy some Magic cards. YL also followed to buy some Mahjong paper. Although I wanted to follow them very much, I decided to stay and accompany them play some poker cards some more (else it would 'disband' due to less players). But soon, Jimmy and WingC also left as they need to go for a family dinner. Soon David and YL came, and we played a couple rounds of cards (no money involved this time) and then left as I am late for the FYP meeting.

Thanks to David I wasn't that late. I speed towards GK and reached Station One around half an hour late I think. All was there liao, and me being the leader was late... paiseh! >< So we discuss and discuss about the FYP... and in the end decided to do documentary. I wasn't sure if it would really work, but I hope it does, since it's quite an interesting documentary too!


So I sent LG home... at first it was because I need to fetch my bro from Wangsa too, but then he say he will go back by his own. I could have told Laihar so she will send LG back again, but... nvm. I sent her back and even walk her until the front door of her house, but it somehow feels... not that 'heart pumping' anymore. It feels more like a 'routine' than a 'I want to see her till the end' kind of thingy. Is it a sign that I am finally letting go of these feelings? If so, then we should celebrate! Haha...


Then went for yamcha again with David and Daniel, although near 12am liao. They played some Magic and then we chat about some love stuffs. I asked David to rank, and he said LG was the prettiest among them all. Although it was a fact, but I kind of felt sad for YL... in my heart, she will remain the prettiest of them all. Okok, stop vomiting blood you readers! Hahaha... XD

Updates... sem 5, part 1

Sigh... lately must be too free and did nothing much at home. Everyday it's been doing the same thing... doing some house chores, playing FB, Dota, Torchlight or Magic. Actually it's not that boring, but it is FREE... and when my mind is free, I tend to think about love stuffs again, sighhhhh!

LG's bday just passed a few days ago. I was so into the game (Torchlight) that I totally no time to check my FB, thus without realizing that her bday has passed until a day after. I still wished her happy belated bday in FB and SMS. Sigh... I do misses her sometimes, when we always hang out yamcha together. Now that I know she's in love with another person, my heart does ache... how much, you will never know. Go for your happiness LG, you deserves it...! T_T

YL pula... the more I go to Summit, the more I want to go see her at least once a week. No doubt she's the longest girl that I have loved in my life... and still am. I hate myself for feeling so much 'hope', that if I DO see her, my heart will have that special tingling 'good feeling' that it is so damn addictive... it is like a drug! No matter what ppl say, you still wants it badly... and I'm an addicter. I'm addict... I'm addicted to you~ ><

Haha, I can imagine the faces of my readers saying 'Oh no, not this again! When will he ever wake up!?'. Maybe soon... when I do have a gf. But that won't be anytime 'soon', so.....? Nobody knows, yay! XD

GL - YL - YL - LG, these 3 words! G, Y, L... why always this THREE words!?! What does it mean!!?!! ArrGGhhhHH!!!!

Love... a blessing or a curse?

This couple of days see my bro keep on emo-ing because he broke up with his 'most loved' girl in his life, the girl which is now studying in the same class with him. On one side I pity him... because I would hurt deeply too if I broke up with the girl I love. On the other side I think that it is his own fault... for 1) having two gfs 2) did something which made the girl feel 'susah' to be with him. His emo-ness is really bugging me... ><

Yes, I hate players... who play with ppl's heart. In my opinion there is no 'sharing' love. You either love one, or you love none. More than one means you don't deserve to be loved... cause you're greedy. Greedy for food is ok, greedy for love is despicable! (I mean lover's love)

I have been super busy this semester until rarely update my blog, thus meaning I have no time for love either... haha. Maybe it's a good thing, since no love = no headache/ heartache. Yeah, once a while when I meet back YL, I do miss her... but meeting up with her and just hanging around her makes me very happy liao. She's getting prettier and prettier too, haha...

So busy I am at school that I even rarely meet LG. The longest time I spend with her this sem is when I celebrated my bday with her and on the showcase day, which she dressed up very uniquely. Ya, my love for her nearly becomes 0% liao (I think). Time really heals I guess.....

So next sem will be my final sem, then I will finally get my diploma liao. FYP, or final year project, isn't going to be easy. I want to produce a video that is way better than the successful MV that we did this sem. To produce a masterpiece, you gotta work your guts out. No hard work = no good work/ a normal work. I want to make ppl's eye pop up when they see the video, than stand up and claps their hands while screaming 'fuuyoo!!!!'. The feeling = PRICELESS! XD

Showcase was the bomb!

These couple of days were busy helping to prepare for the showcase, cause I'm one of the committee members (hospitality). Say only but mainly because I have the car, so I fetch them here and there to buy stuffs. I was tired but happy helping them, but damn tulan when the 'brat' did not appreciate it and keeps complaining stuffs. Emo rich brat, wat to do... -_-

Yesterday was the showcase. The night before we were doing our last minute 'hunting' and testing with the equipments in the hall. So, feeling tired cause slept late, I woke up early in the morning and dressed up as a 'cowboy sheriff' before heading over to fetch them at 8am. As expected they were late, some more I need to go up to the brat's house to help take stuffs... fine.

After all done, I help took some stuffs downstairs, into my car. There were super heavy stuffs, making me need to go super slow else my car would have hit the bumper while moving over it. I jokingly said 'Wahlao, so heavy... die lor my car'. Then the idiot brat said 'If u die then we didn't slept the night before die a long time liao lor!'. WTF!?! I wanted to tuut him back and call him to get down and walk to college! But I did not want any war... yet. So I kept quite to his f*cking sarcastic remarks. Emo brat... just let him be.

So a lot was done from getting ready the equipments to buying the food from Wangsa Maju (chicken chop rice). The first part was our TVC (tv commercial), which wasn't the best at all. After lunch it was MV (music video). This was our pride and joy, our precious production!

Last time when I heard that the lecturer said some of the team members cried when they look at their video being cast for the audience to see, I thought it was kind of over-reacting. But when I stand there, in front of all the crowds... and our MV was being projected for all to see, I was... stunned. Looking back on how much sweat, tears and energy was put on it, the feeling was... special. And when the part I suggested to be taken was shown, it looked damn 'yeng' until some of the crowd cheered at it! Suddenly I was so 'kam dong' until some tears came out of my eyes by itself... omg! Until the end of the MV, people cheered and I was more touched... our MV did it, WE DID IT!!! The feeling was AWESOME... damn!

Later when all MV was showed, all were given a paper to vote for the best mv and tvc. Best TVC went to the Avira group, and mc's group got 3rd place, shocking! Best MV was Ray's group, but WE got the THIRD place among 27 groups! YES BABY!! Another joyful moment I wouldn't forget... XD

Then the committee member's were invited to the front by the lecturer to give praises and salute for doing such a good job to make the showcase a success. I was happy that I am one of them... although we did not get much in return, I was happy to play a part in it. The brat of course keeps complaining and said he won't join anything like this anymore, which is GOOD cause I don't want to see him anymore! Why complain when you were the one who volunteered in the first place? STUPID! lol...

Took a lot of nice pics, including with LG who dressed so nicely, like a doll. She even created a fake hair out of cloth! Nice!! I also took the initiative to take some pics with W and CK cause they were wearing a mask, and CK dressed like a cat, lol. Ya... you could say that I forgiven them liao, haha...

Overall it was a superbly fun day, except those moments when the brat ruined some for me. Damn I hate EMO kids!!! The event ended nearly at 7pm, from 10am. I took some leftover foods back. Then at 10pm went out again to join Danny them for 2 hours of CS. Tired and AWESOME day for me...! XD

First time mad at LG

Yesterday was making a plan with MC to go out with the gang and fly kite... yes, the real fly kite in Kepong. But sadly most of the responses are either not going or see first. Then LG suddenly MSN me and ask me about the plan. At first she say want to go, then change her mind and say see first. It's because she don't want me to tell MC that she will go then FFK later...

This is what makes my blood started to boil... Then in a happy attitude she said 'I have never FFK ppl before'... WHAT?!? Deep inside I still remember the incident clearly, where we went for David's bday in Mid-Valley and she FFK us, when we are ALREADY there! And she dare say never fkk ppl before... so I just kept quiet and didn't say a word about THE incident.

Still I was mad... I keep 'advising' her that I, too, don't like ppl to ffk me. It's rude and make ppl unhappy. Then she keep denying of ffk-ing ppl, and ended with a 'hahahaha'... so I closed her MSN without replying her back. Denying is bliss I guess? -_-

Why am I so mad at her because of a simple 'ffk'? Maybe it's me... but I feel that she take things for granted. She doesn't think what if her actions will make ppl upset... she enjoys life just like that without giving anything back in return and her only skill is talking with ppl. Her weaknesses like forgetful and bad in using computer software are terrible, yet did not do much to fix them. No, I will not help her anymore since I did that so much in the past... and I don't want her to cling on to people's help and in the end, could not stand on her own two feet.

What will happen to her in the future...? I don't know. All I know is I should not care too much and just help her like an ordinary friend... nothing more.

Another outing with LG

Thursday night I went out with Daniel, his bro Kevin and LG. It was a bit weird that LG is following us out, since it was actually to help Daniel buy his backpack bag. So after fetching LG around 9pm, we head over to One Utama. During the whole trip I was talking with LG at the back seat.

Then reached One Utama, it became me and Kevin talking most of the time, while LG listens and Daniel chatting with Eve who came to pass Daniel his lenses that Jessie Tan borrowed. Daniel bought the expensive backpack which cost nearly RM400. When Eve left later, it became LG talk with Daniel and I continue chatting with Kevin.

So we went for yamcha. The conversation was still the same... and sometimes I listen to what they say (LG and Daniel). Somehow I was a bit sad (or maybe jealous) cause what they talk are always those serious and love related stuffs, which doesn't involve me. Talking with Kevin made me realised that as we grow older, our life becomes less fun due to love, work and life. True... yet sad.

Then on the way back I did not talk with LG anymore... It was all LG and Daniel talking, while I listen to the radio and enjoy the sceneries outside the window. The ugly green monster is consuming me, but I hold it back. As we approach near to LG's place, Daniel offered to walk her back, so I didn't need to do that too. It would be better if Daniel do it too.....

So why am I still feeling this way? Is it because the feeling is still there...? One big weakness is I couldn't forget so easily, it takes a long time to totally forget that feeling. This holiday will be a good time to heal myself... and next sem, I vow not to look at her or even go out yamcha with her anymore. She likes another guy and it's time for me to wake up from this dream.

One thing I learned from Kevin is guys are egoistic, they like to sacrifice themselves to make girls happy although it will make them suffer in the end while girls are self centered... they love all the attention but only chose the best for themselves.

A day with LG

Yesterday was a tiring day... the day before I only got 2 hours worth of sleep, doing the freaking MSN and story Flash assignment. Then I realised I cant link it all together... and none of my friends know it because I use action script 3.0 -__- So no choice, called LG and ask for her help cause she using 3.0 also. So I went to the library to find her.

Thought she was the only one there, bit looks like JH, the guy I thought she like last time, was also there. He's very close with LG and is one of her team member in doing group assignments. We chatted and see each other's project. LG's MSN was better than mine but my story assignment was better than hers. Turn out she couldn't help me after all cause her one is helped by another friend thus she don't know how to do it at all. Oh well... T_T

Then the 3 of us went to TBR to eat, buy and print some stuffs. It was fun as we chat and talk about stuffs (including me teasing LG in numerous times, and JH 'helped' me, haha...). It's funny how I am able to mix in with their group so easily... cause most of their classmates didn't. Whatever the reason is, I am always happy to mix with more groups than concentrating on one. I like to be the 'Jack of all' than the 'King of one'... XD

Although I know she likes a guy from her hometown (not told by Daniel but my 'informer'), although I'm a bit sad deep inside... but overall, I still wish to be good friends with her. Yes, I maybe upset by her actions in the past, but when you want to be a true gentleman, you need to forgive and forget. So I can only keep the pain inside and show the happiness out... no, I will not reveal the sadness out nor shall I be labelled 'emo', the type of people I hate the most! ><

As it was a tiring and happy day, I later went out yamcha with the two Ds in Cola Club, which is now renovated and looks way better than last time. The atmosphere was very relaxing, with the 2 live people singing. They were talented and the songs they sang was all top notch + my favourite songs. Hanging out like that is what I love to do with my buddies... ^^

I didn't feel tired at all although only slept 2 hours... but later when I reach home, I was dead sleepy. Happy day... end! XD

Hard to be mad...

It's strange... I was very pissed on Thursday night due to LG. Then on Friday while I was waiting to fetch CK to Wangsa Maju, I saw her at the bus stand. I know she's going to Wangsa Maju... and my mind says 'Don't need to bother her... she will go there herself. She won't appreciate even if you offer to send her there!'. Yup... I think so too. But my heart just couldn't bear it... being evil even for a little bit is so hard for me. After getting myself a headache of asking her or not, I decided to do what I will do to everyone, not only her... and that is to offer a ride. -_-

But I did not do 'too' much. I just send her to the LRT Wangsa Maju, where I need to pass the car to my bro, and he will fetch my mom there. So she needs to go back home herself... which is quite far away. Again my devil and angel side said 'She deserves to walk far, it's nothing compared to the mockery she did to me!' and 'Ah, so dangerous... I wish I could walk with her home'. Haha... with one swipe, the two thoughts dissapeared... as Daniel's car has reached to take us for yamcha and dinner. Funny is when I get into his car, I totally forgot about LG...

It's silly and stupid of me to think so much for her when she doesn't give nuts about me. I guess that's why I'm a lovefool... stupid and innocent. Hanging out with CK and W is way more fun than with her, so I should not think so much anymore. She won't be joining us for yamcha anymore unless the D's ask her out... yay >.>

Today W ponteng class so didn't come to college at all. Suddenly a friend was teasing me last night with her, cause she trusted me and send me her whole English assignment file. I said it was nothing but he kept teasing me this and that with W. Oh no... I hope this rumour won't grow 'bigger' else I might lose the friendship bond between me and W! I don't think it would... will it? Sigh... I think too much again! >.<