Emo oh emo...

Sigh... lately feel so emo. Hate this feeling... but can't stop this feeling. Sadness falling on me like tears from above, can't run no matter where I go. Starting to feel demotivated although pretend to be strong on the front lines... Feel like just give it all up and leave this sickening world.

No I'm not lovesick... I'm just having a serious case of demotivation. Why? Because of THEM... my so called friends/ coursemates/ group members. I shouldn't be saddened by these couple of fools that think badly of me, for things I did not done to them... which I don't know why they still doesn't accept me as a 'real' friend. I did not kill their parents, nor did I do anything bad to them. I tried my best to be a good director, always giving a helping hand eventhough they didn't ask for it, be as friendly as I can... but still they treat me nothing more than a... 'person to work with', ONLY.

FML... fML... fmL... Fml...FmL...fMl...FMl...FmL...fmL.....!!!!!!! I am so weak to be disturbed by these petty people. I should ignore them and continue on with my life. In the future, I will not meet them anymore nor will I treat them as friends... as what they do to me now. Revenge is sweet, but it is not of my choosing. Like karma, I will do to people what they do to me, good and both alike...! Do not think I will be so kind and stupid enough and forget all of these things in the future. The fire will take a miracle to perish... the fire of vengence.....!!!

It's really sickeningly sad to see the girl I once love and would always be there for her... now treats me nothing more than a monster. I wish I never knew her... I wish I would not see her anymore, as every glimpse makes the hatred gone and comes back even bigger in the end. Why cant I tear out my heart and remove her image from it!? Why can't I go into my brain and destroy every memory I had with her!? Why is it so F**kingly pain in the inside that I couldn't do anything to erase it!!?! WHHHYYYYY!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!

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..... FML