No.. NO... nOOOOO!!!!!!

Oh no... the feeling is coming back... I'm starting to over-caring for a girl I once like. I called her like usual today, asking where did she go for the break and looks like she were on the way back. She says she's not with the others and are going back because not feeling well. I know she were driving, so I said ok, take care, bye...

Later after all class was done, I went back and on my MSN. She wasn't online yet... maybe resting. So I waited until later, when I saw her online in FB. So I contacted her on MSN and asking her if she were alright. Looks like she were having a slight fever and still feeling a bit pening. So I chat with her, asking her to take care of herself, telling her some updates in school while playing with her. It was fun... chatting and caring for someone of the opposite sex.

Then I told her to faster go back rest, don't online so much as she's not yet fully recover. She listened and thanked me for caring and went offline soon after that. Haha... don't know why but I was caring for her much more than I do with a normal friend. Maybe I am just lonely and wanted to care for someone... maybe not?

Oh no... don't tell me I'm falling again. I should not... MUST not! She is a good girl, independent and special in her own way. I am too old for her. I must not fall for her and ruin our current friendship, which I enjoyed so much. Call me lonely or whatever, but it's so hard for me to find good friends of the opposite sex. Some either treated me badly, used me or mistreat me so badly... it hurts deep inside.

I hope our beautiful friendship will last till the end of time... my good friend of mine...! :)

Girls are sometimes so cruel

Got some new news from my 'spy'... looks like LG is gossiping about me to my other friends, behind my back. At first I thought we shouldn't be enemies, since we are classmates soon, and being the gentleman I SHOULD forgive her. But now she's telling everyone that I blocked her in FB (which I only block her from seeing my post, she BAN me in FB), making me look more like the bad guy here. Unforgivable! How can a kind girl like her do these stuffs!? Is she just plain ignorant and childish... or just plain stupid!?!

I'm tired of these 'words war'. If people want to believe her then fine... but I know most don't, cause she's getting famous for being the talkative bi**h who tell secrets around, and tell them not to tell anyone else. I will definitely not give a damn about her anymore, seeing that she 'hates' me so much and tell everyone of my 'bad things' and pretend she's the victim here. She sucks when handling assignments, and most of my classmates knows that. Now that the aunty who's always been in her group is stopping for a year, let's see how she deal with her problems NOW... ALONE!

It's so so sad to see the girl you once loved, doing all of this to you... even though you sacrificed so much for her last time. Ungrateful... childish... backstabber... faker... I WILL NOT TOUCH THIS MEDUSA ANYMORE!!!

The end is coming, a new beginning is approaching...

Wow... been quite a long time since I blogged. Can't be helped, cause every time I wanted to blog, there's this 'bad feeling' that haunts me. Bad memories of me and LG becoming enemies... seems like I still can't shake the feeling off even though she's in the wrong. Hmm, looks like my feeling for her indeed became deeper else I wouldn't give a damn about a girl like her. Sigh, why la!?

The one month holiday is coming to an end... will be starting college again next week. Again my heart feels heavy and uncomfortable. So many things are playing in my mind now until I have dreams about it, both good and bad. Some of them are losing my good friends... need to find new group members... need to find new people to hang out with... worrying who will be in my new class, and etc. No doubt LG plays the biggest fear of all, as I don't know if I will be in the same class with her next sem... and what will I do if she IS? Ignore her, chat with her like nothing happened or...??? Kns, why am I always worrying about these petty stuffs?!!

Advance diploma is coming... more things to learn, more burden to handle. I don't want to mess up my mind with love stuffs like LG anymore! ><''

Had a nightmare this morning on LG... and it felt so real. I went to a place and accidentally bumped into her, eye to eye. She said nothing, nor did I. We just go to our own destination as though the other didn't exist. First I was relieved... then I felt kind of sad... and more sad. What does it all mean?

Two weeks ago went for bbq at YL's house. At first I was very happy, awaiting to see YL again. But when I DO see her... somehow the 'umph!' was not there anymore. Seeing her felt more like... 'just another friend' liao. It becomes worse when I heard about her expectations in her future BF. CM did so much more than me in wooing her, following her and pindah here and there so he can be close to her. Sophiya told us about this, and I was shocked. Poor CM has no chance with her... and I felt even further from her. The 2 of us fell for the same person, and if he doesn't stand a chance, where do I even stand? No wonder my feelings for her is disappearing. The jargon between us is just too wide and far away. My 10 year crush is going to stop, soon.....

I think I should just concentrate on my studies, no need to bother about love and stuffs. It's just too complicated for me to handle. It gives me more pain than happiness. Just studying, playing games, hanging out with friends and flirting around seems more carefree and happy for me. Oh no, am I becoming like Daniel!? lol...