The purpose of life, my life

 Sometimes I ask myself, what is the purpose of life? Of my life? Why is it I'm always thinking of YL, when I can think of somebody else? Why do I keep saving up money, when I can suddenly die and all my money can't be used? Why do I work when I should be enjoying life out there now? What if, what if, what if...?

Then I realized, we are but just a spec of dust in this universe. What we do is purely for our own benefit, our own happiness/sadness. Yes we care for other people, but we care for ourselves first. Like what the airlines people said, you can't save others without saving yourself first. So always think of yourself FIRST.

I think of YL because I feel empty inside, without somebody to think of. I imagine if I don't think of YL, what will happen to me? I may feel depressed... sad... aimless... purposeless... lonely... and this might make me breakdown. That's how depression can do to you. I stepped into darkness, and I pull myself out before it's too late. Depression is no joke, believe me. (Actually I don't think much of her lately, but I just put her inside, one part of me... just in case)

So from now onwards, I will think of anyone, as much as I want, when I want. I will not let loneliness or depression get to me. I play what I want, eat what I want, do whatever I want. I don't know when I will die, but I will live as happy as I can before I do, everyday. My purpose in life? Is to enjoy life as much as possible, with or without love. I don't need to be great, I just need to be me. And I hope you will too. Cheers~!

Happy Dragon New Year~!

 So first post of the year, hope everyone will have a Happy New Year soon. Let's recall what has happened over the past few months:

1. Company dinner at 13 Jan

This time not buffet but Chinese wedding style where each table will be presented their own set of food (halal/non-halal/vip). Still same at Iconic Hotel (food was ok). This year got special 'long service award' which I definitely will get since I work before day 1. It's a certificate and RM300 cheque, yay. Got some performances by own colleague (a way to save money and entertain all). First time get lucky draw too (RM100 ang pow). Best lucky draw prizes: hp that company get for free from signing packages with phone companies (OMG...). Overall, fun and not bad (because I got RM400) haha...

2. Sprained knee while playing badminton

Walao first time kena torn ligament. So serious until I cannot walk as 1 leg was crippled. MC for 2 days, recovered on 4th day. Was using a walking stick to see doctor, it was Hell. Now still a little pain. Doctor said no sports until after CNY. I doubt can fully recovered by then, sigh... Bad year for dog, no doubt.

3. Was hit with Covid last year December

Yup, second time covid. Fun as free off days at home. First day was Hell, high fever, couldn't eat. Then later recovered and stay in bed and gaming whole day. But got some after effects like lost taste bud and leg weakness (maybe the reason I sprained my knee). Whole family kena (including my parents). First time MC of the year, there goes my perfect record haha.

4. Still single and available

Yup, the usual. Starting to shake of YL, but for how long, who knows? Focus more on old games that have stories for entertainment (not H game). Lonely but manageable...

Busy with work (sometimes) as company already listed. More work, bonus only 1 month (less than last year's 1.5 month, shit) and everyone is working like zombies because no add man power but increased workload. IPO only made it worse, shit! The economy is getting worse, everything price increased. Sigh... let's just hope this will be a better year for all. Cheers~!