Wow, another year have passed and last year only 1 post for the whole year, how time flies. Due to Daniel's request, I will write a post on last year's group gathering with the TARC gang (ok, not the whole gang but YL is there haha).
Aaaaaaanyway, the main point of it is of course because of YL. I didn't see her since... before I come to PG... before she gave got pregnant with her first child..... Yes, that's a lot of years indeed. Around 4 to 5 years I think. Do I still miss her after all these while? Of course I do... every year... every month... every week... nearly every day (which is an improvement). I even remember one point in time my heart ache a little (really pain) when suddenly I have this 'wake up call' that Yee Ling will forever, never be mine. My head already know this but my heart was a little bit 'slow' in accepting it. It was a sad moment at that time and I knew my feelings was real, but nothing can be done anymore. So I slept the pain away..... in regret and loneliness.
When I do meet her again that night in the coffee house, my heart did brighten up a little. She was still as beautiful as the last time I saw her, no sign that she already gave birth to 2 child at all. Then I see the seat next to her was empty, so I maintain my cool and sit next to her (else it will be impolite, right?). Do you know what she do next? She stand up, sit at the seat next to her and put her bag on where she originally sat. So now there's a seat with a bag between me and her! I... don't know what to feel. Angry or sad... or both? I suppressed it and just act like nothing and continue chat with her, WingC and SG. Chatting, chatting then somehow we came into topic where I told her I never seen YL's husband face before. She took a picture of him in her hp and show it to me. His face like... meh!? Like a geek in glasses, an angry looking geek (who like SM) lol... To add salt into my injured heart, she ask 'Don't we look compatible with each other?'..... I paused for 3 seconds and say 'uh, yeah...' Full stop. Next topic! (-1 life that night)
Overall that night, the only good thing I get was a picture with her 'nearly' next to me. I even stupidly use it as my phone wallpaper now *facepalm myself x100* But it will all change soon. Why? Because I'm wooing another girl now, woohoo! A New Girl!! Okok... just a little lightheaded because it's been a long time since I woo a girl. The last time was when I was in college, when I was courting YLin, which ended me in sadness for a few years. (-1 life then too)
This girl is quite good looking (check!). Younger than me by 6 or 7 years (yes!). Wear glasses and reply my We Chat messages fast if she's not working (clerk in a lawyer firm). Problem is she lives quite far away (SP) and she's not good in Cantonese and English (but good in Teow Chew and Mandarin which I sucked in). But she has the initiative to learn English (good!) and in these few days, we chat more than I ever did with YL in my whole life (WeChat). (1 life up!)
Although I did say I can be a bachelor for life, I will not pass up if there's a chance like this. Being in love has it's ups and downs but to be frank I'm quite happy with my bachelor life all these years. Will this girl change the way how I look at love? Will she accept me for who I am? Will she be the one I have been waiting for all my life? So many questions, so many uncertainties... and all I hope is this year will be the year for me. Onwards, doggo bachelors!
P/S: These feelings... must... not... let it... take... over..... me!! Happy Valentine Day everyone!
