Going to fall again

Oh no... what am I doing!? I just climb back up... almost to the top of the hole, suddenly I felt a pressure to fall back inside! What am I doing!? Wake up, wake up! I must not fall again... If I fall, I may lose another good friend... that I wished to see everyday. I musn't fall, I musn't let ppl see that I'm falling once again... I MUSN'T!!! ><

Transformer with cousemates

This Wed went to Times Square to watch Transformer 2: Revenge of the Fallen with coursemates. That means seniors, juniors and 2 lecturers joined us in watching it. W was there, which made it more enjoyable. LG was also there, but she was like... wasn't there. Saw her a glimpse before and after the movie, then dissapeared liao. But W hanged out with us until nearly the end...

Michael Jackson died on Thursday, which was a very sad thing. Although a lot of ppl tease him, I still respect him cause he really is The King of Pop. Rest in peace MJ...

There's news the H1N1 flu infected TARC too... donno if it's true or not, no 100% confirmation yet. We have no time to bother about that with assingments deadlines coming soon... X_x

The cure of loneliness

It's been so long since I updated... been busy playing Dragonica since it is officially opened in Asia now. So what exciting stuff have happened to my life these past few weeks?

Nothing big... Since me and LG's timetable clashes most of the time now, and my timetable doesn't have big time gaps in between... I don't need to waste my time to find her anymore. She doesn't call me/ SMS me anymore too, since her siblings are all now under one roof.

So do I miss her? Yup... sometimes, but usually only when I saw her in lecture class. The feeling is starting to go away, since I felt sad that she really treats me nothing more than a friend. And I'm still using the 'hate psychology', in which whenever I see her, I should hate her, not think more of her... which only subsides my feelings. How can I hate her? lol...

And lately I hang out more with my classmates... W, to be precise. Since I am not so 'in' with the others, I hang out with W's gang, which all consist of girls (5 girls). Do I feel weird hanging with them? None at all... since we are more of the 'nice and hardworking' type compare to the others. Did I stick with them because of W? A part of it, yes... but I feel that my best friend now in class is only her and CK, which is her best friend. We like games, talk in Cantonese and 'saves money', which makes us mix well together. I am in their group in one of the assignments too.

So what about love? Is love really disappeared from LG and shifted to W? No... the precise answer is it is FADING away from LG and... stopped there. I don't want to put my love on W, because deep inside I know I'm nobody special, and she will not fall for a nobody like me. Without money, chasing girls are completely out of my league too. So I shall focus on my studies and just treat W and my friends as buddies... to joke around, fooling each other and laughing together. It is more fun and lasts longer too.

That is why I'm a bit addicted to Dragonica now... Most of my friends are there, we can do stuffs together while having a good time leveling. Since I am a nobody in real life, at least I can teach/ help my friends in the virtual reality. Yes it may sounds pathetic, but it's the only thing I can do... for now. I feel happy when I help ppl because if they're happy, I am happy. But I have no such power in the real world... so this is my only way of escape.

Am I sad because of this? Nope... I know my own weakness and shall not be feeling down because of it. I will live my life happily, doing as much as I can before I die. no matter what people say, I will stand on my own principle in life. I know some advise me for the better, but if doing it will make me better but in the same time sad-der, does it worth it? Like a saying goes 'If we work to live, why are we dead working?'. I shall walk on my own pace, steadily and happily... XD

First week starting tutorial/ practical classes

Finally all the classes started this week. For the whole week, there is only 3 lecture classes, which means I will only be able to see LG 3 days a week... which is a good thing. This whole week have been hanging out with W, CK, Pilla and YC most of the time (all 4 are girls). Haha, I know I should be hanging out more with the guys but somehow we just don't click. Now I know how it feels to be the only boy in a group, lol...

Yesterday yamcha with Ah Ming, which is very sudden. I can't yamcha on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday night as I got an 8am class the following day but since it was him, an exception is given, haha. He fetched me and Daniel to yamcha at Bangi Kopitiam in Taman Melawati town.

We jokes and talked about many stuffs, including our love lives. Then it hit me... should I really tell LG that I like her? Although I already know the answer, but is telling her going to make any difference? ...................... No, I dont think so.

Maybe it was because of the trauma I felt when chasing YLin. At that time I did a lot of stuff to please her, including going far places just to find her by LRT, buying her stuffs to please her, call her everyday, etc. But now... I don't do those stuff anymore..... Why??

The feeling of rejected after 100% sure of getting a girl really hits deep. Somehow deep inside... I don't trust love anymore, although I yearn for it. That's why I did all those 'safe' stuffs like asking friends/ spies for info on a girl I like. It makes me feel safer because I won't feel that 'killing pain' of being rejected, face to face anymore. If you don't put that much hope, then you won't feel that much pain. That's what I think...

Pathetic philosophy, I know, haha... but it's hard to cure a trauma once it hits you 'hard', and I mean Rock Bottom Hard that HARD. So many maybe, so many uncertainties... I don't think I will succeed in this game called love..... for a long long time.

Currently I'm happy hanging out with W and friends. She's now the 'printing manager' too, which is like an assistant to me, the class rep, haha. But she's gonna 'eat' a lot of money... haha. Anyway, friendship is my way of curing loneliness... to stop 'thinking' too much... and forgets LG.

A funtastic day

Thursday night was fun, as I chat with W and CK. Although we have a big difference in age gap, but it did not stop me from having fun chatting in MSN with 2 girls. Teasing W was the most fun activity, and we laughed so fun-ly trough the night. Then David called to yamcha, so it had to stop (too much of something will lead to boringness, haha) and we continue chatting at McD's until nearly 2am.

Yesterday's outing finally succeeded with the careful planning, by me, haha... Ok, not entirely me, but most of it is me. Anyway, after fetching my mom, my bro sent me to Tar Villa. I was early but I went into CK's house 1st. She was sleeping when I called her, haha. Fong was already awake and cooking maggi mee at the kitchen, which is rare among lazy students. Lepak a while then later W and Alvin came, with animes, games, movies and mangas (in her hard disk or dvds)... It was fun, except for the BL thing... -_-'

Alvin got emo (because we didn't 'entertain'/ choi him) so we stayed away while CK handle him. It's really uncomfortable when someone does that. Anyway, I hope on board W's car, which was funny yet a bit dangerous (they way she drove because just 2 month driving experience). Reached Wangsa Maju, called LG to come over at the restaurant opposite Mydina. She was a bit mad because she waited a long time there liao, alone... but didn't show it out (and subsided rather quickly), haha... Cant be avoided as she went earlier than planned, plus we were a bit 'delayed'. Robin also joined, so we ate lunch there.

After filling our tummies, we took the LRT to KLCC. Arrived, we went straight to the cinema and bought Terminator movie tickets. We got pretty nice seats, since not a lot of ppl are watching at that time (sembahyang Jumaat + working period). The movie was not bad, I was satisfied (since LG was sitting beside me, hehe).

Then we went to Kinokuniya a while. After that took the LRT back and straight go for lecture and then fetch mom and went to Giant to shop for some goods. Suddenly David called and went for another outing, just after I bath at home (after I reached home). Sent her sister to her sis's friend's house cause she's having a sleepover there. The place is rich people's place, so we enjoyed having a stroll (and some pics) there.

So we head over to One Utama for a walk. Ate A&W there. Then went to find CMing, Yling and Evy at some place to yamcha. Poor Yling got a lot of mosquito bites... so I asked her to wash her hands. Maybe I was sleepy or just 'perasan', but I felt like she was looking at me a lot more than normal. Haha... still I'm happy I was able to see my fav 3 girls in one day! ^^

Went back around 1-2am... damn tired, but happy. Thanks to the two D's for making the day longer and happier :P

First day of Sem 4/ Sem 1 Year 2

Finally the school started. I was waaaay earlier than everyone. When I have a peek into the lecture hall, there were only 2 cleaner lady sitting and chatting inside, haha. So I went inside next door's lecture hall, sitting while enjoying the cool air-cond.

Later suddenly a lecturer came in and asked me 'Hallo there! Are you studying psychology?' o.O; I said no. Then she asked again 'Then are you here studying *something* child abuse? (a subject)' I was even more -_-'' and said 'no'. Later asking me a bunch of questions (she was being friendly, but to me it became scary), she went to the computer at the lecturer's table. Then she was having some problem, so I went down to help her. I was glad in the end I was able to help her (she forget to turn on the electric switch) and went away, after she thanked me. ^^

So I went back to my lecture hall, and there are 2-3 students there already. Later the whole lecture hall was filled with my friends, which I haven't seen for a month (yeah, I missed them, haha). Who I missed the most? Of course LG and W, hehe... XD LG went to sit beside W, while a repeat friend and Alvin sat beside me. Poor Danny can't sit beside me (cause we usually sat together) so he sat in front... sorry dude!

The lecturer was Ms Yarshi which taught us last sem. It was too draggy, causing it to be a bit boring. After finished I went down with the other class rep too get some papers. While the lecturer was a bit busy, I looked behind to find *ehem*, and there was she... looking at my direction, at me! Walao, why so ngam one!?! So I looked back in front, at the lecturer, as though nothing has happened. Yes, I'm ... just a bit... curious, that's all! Haha... -_-'

She left when I finished with the lecturer's stuffs. No goodbye? Sigh... So I followed Alvin's car and went for yamcha at TBR. Another enjoyable session with my friends, haha. We also discussed about going for the movie 'Angels and Demons' tomorrow, after lecture, maybe at night at KLCC. Who wanna join (the 2 D's)? SMSed LG and she said ok liao...! ^^ 

Hope tomorrow jadi la, please... must jadi!! ><>

P/S: Passed all last sem's exam! 1B, 1B- and 1B+... not bad, but not good either... I wanted an A!

Steamboat and LG

Yesterday was a tiring yet fun day. Early morning have to go send my mom to Pasar Pagi buy groceries. Then later have to send my bro to work. After that terus bring my mom shopping in Giant pula. After that went home, play a bit game, bath then move out again for the dinner buffet with classmates (and ex).

Location, Wangsa Maju. The steamboat buffet was not bad, the specialty is there's a lot of workers and some of them will barbecue food for you. Just tell them what and how many, and they will automatically do for you, free of charge... not bad. With only tomyam and normal soup used for the steamboat, there wasn't much choice. It got worse when it overflowed and making both side in the pot became tomyam flavor.

But the best was the ice-cream, which I don't think they serve those ciplak and lauya brands. Pistachio and vanilla with choc chip was best, I had 3 bowls! After finished eating they decided to play a game. Since we have 2 tables, the final loser will battle it out. I really don't want to play this kind of silly games, but since all have to play it, I don't want to be marked the only 'spoil sport'.

I was shocked that in the end, I was the final loser on my side of the table... and Kit (the guy I really don't like) was on the other side! Shit... I already hate him, now I need to battle it out WITH him, cis. Luckily I won 2-3, so he was forced to clip a clipper on each side of his ear and walk towards the crowd and back. I wasn't happy, just glad of not being the one humiliated like that...!! From 6.30pm till nearly 10pm, it was a really long buffet, cost Rm21.40 per person (after discount for students).

Still early, I waited for my bro to come back from his work in the car. After passing him the car, I followed Daniel's car to LG's new house. We didn't go in but she and her sis came out with the laptop which she asked Daniel to fix. So we head over to BRJ as Andrew and Daniel helped her and her sis to fix the laptop, but the battery went dead, half way while formatting the com. David joined us too. So we head over to her house to continue formatting the com.

Her new house was a bit like YL's house, since it was in section 2 too. Saw his 2 bro too. We went into her room and chat while installing Windows in her laptop. Looks like her sis likes anime and rpg games (PS2) a lot, kind of suit Andrew, haha. Her younger bro also did a little bit of jamming with David and Daniel with 2 guitars. Her bro's singing voice was quite good, but expected from LG's family bloodline. The elder bro didn't talk to us much as he went out. Overall her siblings were fun and 'bananas', just like us... haha.

So what's my opinion after nearly 1 month of not meeting LG and suddenly meeting her (and all her siblings at the same time)? Hmm... the 'love' factor still hasn't fully disappeared, but subsided greatly since I already accepted the facts. I don't think forgetting her will be a problem, since the new timetable shows that there isn't much 'free' time for me to jump into her class anymore. See her less = think of her less. And since her siblings are all under one roof, she won't be that bored anymore... so I don't need to find her yamcha that often liao. I don't need to 'own' her to be happy, seeing her happy from afar will be enough for me. Good luck with your life LG, you deserve to be with a better man.....