Adding salt to injury

Butt pain, heart pain... and to add more salt to my injuries, she wrote this on her FB:

目前狀態不清楚
看不清未來
回不到過去
希望我是最好的
是你再也遇不到的

Which translates to this:

The current status is not clear
Can't see the future
Not returning to the past
I hope that I am the best
It’s something you can’t meet anymore.

Wow... how good or 'best' do she think she is? Wasted a few years in Australia to 'pick fruit', come back with some money. But no education except SPM and no job experience (picking fruit is NOT one), then have to work as a clerk in a lawyer firm with low salary. Tell me she wanted to do her own business by opening a florist shop with her sisters, but I tell her it's not easy and needs a lot of planning, which I can't give her as I don't have any experience opening a shop neither.

So is it because I didn't support her or 'volunteer' to join in and let her open the florist shop, that I become 'not on par' with her? Come on, florist shop!? You hardly see one nowadays as people rarely buy flowers anymore. Because she likes flower then she wants to open a florist shop? Pfft... such naive thinking. If I wanted to be frank with her, I would have told her it's a silly idea. Good luck on that, girl.

Is all young girls have such naive thinking like this? Do they expect all their boyfriends to be loaded and MUST support them no matter what they want? Is Korean movies really screwing with their minds too much? (She LOVES Korean movies too, go figure) Bloody Hell, I even cut my hair super short (looking like a monk now) because she says Korean boys cut that kind of hairstyle is handsome. Shit, I didn't cut this hairstyle since I was like in... secondary or primary school!? WTF was I thinking!?!

Ok... it all seems clearer to me now. I was wrongly in love with a NAIVE girl who thinks I am loaded. Caring for her will not work, only money or looks. She's seriously not that pretty, even YL is way prettier, she only looks ok with those camera tricks. Her teeth is jagged/crooked so she don't open her mouth when taking shots. Somehow I thought this 'mediocre' girl is good enough for me but turns out I am the one not good enough for her? Ok, you win.

Lucky I only 'started' to give her part of my heart, else I will feel like dying right now. Heartbreaks is never a good thing and the more one experience it, the heart will starts to harden more and more. It may sound like a bad thing, but it will prevent anymore 'pain' to enter, which in a worst case scenario could lead to death. That is why I'm living my life with the motto 'Got then got la, don't have then nevermind la'. It's to prevent depression one way or another.

Ok, time to say goodbye to the... fourth girl that I loved? Actually screw it, she doesn't even deserve a spot there as I only 'like' her not to the point that I really 'love' her. Like the case with YL, that is how I really 'love' somebody... true, deep and long lasting, even if she doesn't feel the same. Who says love must be 2 sided? Haha, ok... time to stop here for now. Ciao~!

It's a sad day, again...

Sigh... although at first I thought even if I failed in courting her, it won't be such a big deal... and yet here I am, feels like my heart is heavy, uncomfortable... like something is 'missing'. Damn I hate this feeling coming back, again...

It all started yesterday, after I come back from work and resting to play some PS3 as my butt is still in pain from... don't want to go into details about that, one word... PAIN. As I lay on the carpet, I WhatsApp her to know how is she doing, bla bla bla those things. It was like a normal conversation which turned dark soon after. She said she is lazy and bored to answer my WhatsApp, saying it's her fault not mine, saying I am good hearted to care about her but she's BORED and LAZY to reply me sometimes. I was... stunned. Isn't this what girls like, for people to care about them everyday? Heck, I would DIE for someone who cares about me and WhatsApp me everyday! But this girl... is lazy... and BORED about it!? I tried to maintain my cool and replied, in a joking way, that I will try me best to msg her less. She replied 'Whatever... thanks'............................................. wow, speechless.

I guess it's very clear, as clear as she steps on me, with her high heels, on my heart. All those days, without fail, wishing her good morning, goodnight, chatting, helping with  her resignation letter, comforting her... was all useless. She is just too lazy... and bored. Sighhhhhhh.....

Time to stop wasting my time on her and move on. No more need to wish her every morning when I wake up and every night before I go to sleep. Time to go back into solo mode, doing the things I want without sharing my ups and downs with another. Yes, I know it'll be hard, but if I can survive the past experiences, this will be a walk in the park. Time will heal my wounds... and perhaps find me my real soulmate too. Adios~!