A lazy weekend

Argh... my friends have finished their intern but I am still stuck with 1 more week to go. This week Monday was a holiday, which I really enjoyed. Can't enjoy holidays unless u r working, haha. Then took 2 days off my myself to do some work at home. The video, second part, doesn't have sound!? Wth is the cameraman doing??! After much trouble and time wasting, I finally found out that the cameraman used another 'channel' to record the sound. The Mr Lee department was busy, so they can only help me convert it next week. Sigh... but 1 problem solved, okla :)

Yesterday kena tuut by the supervisor... saying she wont accept excuses. Does facts consider as excuses!? At first I signed into FNM, thought of learning the ups and downs of the production industry. But she said if you join FNM, it means u want to learn how to become a director... wtf!? She added that if you don't want to be a director, then you should go other places for intern. Urgh... sabar, sabar...! Now I know why the WHOLE FNM hates her, cis!

Forget that woman...! I tried my best to be good with her but she STILL makes me mad. Sien!!

This week no yamcha again because YL and CM going to Bangkok. Sad, but couldn't be forced I guess. But pre-release of the new expansion in Magic is tomorrow, yippee~! I hope I get an expensive card to cover my cost~ haha. Darren getting married in Penang this weekend, sadly I couldn't help him out as he needs to be in Penang on Sun and Monday, and Monday me and my bro also busy. Next week is my last week in FNM, yeah~! XD

A fun weekend with friends

Ah... another week filled with fun and laughter with my friends, without needing to worry about work and studies. Doing intern only but already I feel a little tension on work life... that is why I am not rushing to work at all, lol.

Anyway last week Sat we went to Malacca. Yeah it was a bit pain on the wallet but well worth it! Drove to Jayaone to meet with them, then drove my car to park at WingC's place. Me, SG and Jimmy went aboard WingC's car (but it was Jimmy that drove) and away we go to Malacca at around 11am~!

Traffic jam like siao... bummer! Looks like a lot KL ppl also have the same thought as us, "3 days of holiday should be spent outside KL!" Haha... So we chat along the way and in the end too tired and slept in the car (all except the driver). When we woke up, we were near Malacca, finally! So me and SG went down 1st and book a place to eat the "chicken rice ball", and luckily we were the last one! Need to queue and get number for a small restaurant like that, I was like... "Wow, really so famous meh?". Then we went to our sit while waiting for Jimmy and WC. They parked really far so it took some time for them to reach.

Finally our food arrived. I really forgot the last time I ate it (I was below 10 years old then) so I thought it was really nice. In the end we were given a couple balls of rice and a plate of chicken. I was like "WTF!? These only!??". And sadly, yes...! So I ate it, feeling extremely hungry. Ok... it taste nice and special... but OVERATED! It wasn't as super as I thought... just special because the rice was in the form of balls. WTF??!? Now I know I don't need to crave for this food anymore since it is just a bit special than normal... and damn pricey to boot!

Then we went walking around Chonker Street. Like Petaling Street in KL, there are a lot of stuffs there, and damn pricey to "chop" foreigners and visitors like us. I thought of buying some souvenirs but cancel it due to the price. I would have bought it for my love one, if I ever have one... haha. Anyway the best thing about the walk is we were able to try more special food, which is baba laksa and nyona curry (if I am not mistaken their names). Yes, this is good! Not too pricey too... I will take this anytime over that chicken rice ball!

SG wanted to buy some toto numbers, so we bought one using 1 number from all of us. But no strike though, haha... Then we walk back to the car. Poor SG walked painfully there because her high heels are not meant to walk far distance. I wished I could help her but all I could do is slowly follow her. Then when in the car WC borrowed her sandals to her, which she wore until we went back KL.

After the street we went to a shopping mall because Jimmy wanted to test the new IPad2. It was cool no doubt... but we were playing the games more than the functions, haha. Then we left for Seremban to buy Seremban Siew Pau.

Got a bit lost there but finally found one, called Empayer Siew Pau. But there was a restaurant there too, and the siew pau was inside it. Special place... so we decided to sit down and eat dinner there, since a lot of ppl was there too. And we were not let down, the food was fantastic! We ate belacan kangkong, one pork meal and a crab. It was pricey but all of us was happily full. So we count the daily expenses and in the end I paid RM50, which was a discount of RM7, haha... I think SG too. Thanks Jimmy and WC~! ^^

Thought of yamcha but cancelled as we were late when we reached and we decided to go for breakfast the next day. So the next day we went out again, Sunday (yesterday). I drove to Jimmy's house and parked my car there then followed them to Jalan Ipoh for dim sum and pau. I like it very much but they said it was "ok" only... haha, looks like my taste buds are way different from them. Apart from last night's gang, YL and CM also joined. We ate will we were full, sharing our meals. In the end all need to pay RM12 per person... not bad. I was happy because I was able to taste my fav cha siew pau again! hahaha XD

Then we went to Kepong Jusco to watch Thor. Actually I already watched it for free with Daniel on Friday, but since all wanted to go then never mind, watch again la. Before that we went to shop for SG's sweater because she didn't bring it and will scare cold in the cinema later. Finally bought a purple sweater, then we went for Old Town Kopitiam for lunch and yamcha before the movie starts. Jimmy complained that we should went for Coffee bean, but I suspect he anti old town, haha... Coffee bean cannot eat la, ol' buddy~! :P

After a nice yamcha session, we went for the movie. Watching it a second time makes me understand the movie more. All of them enjoyed it. Then it was time to say goodbye, and we split. Jimmy sent SG back before going back and then I drove back home myself. A fabulous weekend, its a pity Daniel couldn't join because he was busy with exams and flew to Bali on Sunday.

One thing I learned from the trip is that SG went for a fortune teller and what she said influenced her a lot. Debbie, the fortune teller, tell her that she needs to find a bf from outstation and need to give birth now or risk giving birth when she is 40+ years old. Because of this she thinks of going to the sperm bank... wth!? She is a nice girl and I enjoyed hanging out with her, but I really think she should have more faith in herself and not believing entirely what Debbie said. She should have more confidence in herself... love will find its own way, no use rushing it. Whatever her decision is, I hope she will have a bright future with her love one... ~The End~

L O V E... love?

Love... such a strong word. For me it meant everything... and sometimes nothing. It's weird... sometimes I see people in love, I envy them. I hope I can find my other half too, and spend my time with her. I won't be lonely, I have someone to talk to, someone to share my ups and downs and a person who will be there for me no matter what. A fantasy that comes true...

However there are times when I see so many broken couples, so many arguments and disagreements among love birds, then I will feel glad that I am not in their shoes. When you have a love partner, your responsibilities adds... not by +1 but by near +infinity. You need to constantly be a good boyfriend, a responsible lover and in the end... a dad that your children can look up to. The pressure keeps building up, and it cannot be stopped. If somehow you suddenly 'explode' and wants to end it, then the consequences and pain you bring will not only affect yourself, but many more people around you...

Such is the life of a man... the challenges a human need to face no matter what... a destiny you need to endure before you end your life (except for bachelors/ virgins... haha). Like the teaching of Buddha... All man is born to suffer (in various ways) before they die......

Yamcha cancelled

Sien lor... last week yamcha cancelled... and I was so looking forward to it too T_T It was because Jimmy went for dinner and so late liao still not yet ordered it, sigh... next week hope no cancel.

Why so I want the yamcha so much? So that I could see her? That is part of it, but not the most important one. As I said before, yamcha with friends help me release tension, which is building up this week, argh~!

But on Sunday morning, suddenly Mr Daniel called, and I was so syok sleeping too! But it was a called for help, and I will not ignore any people who requires my help (sound like Superman?, haha). So I went to LRT, fetch him and his gf to his uncle house, take key, then send them back. The good thing is I managed to find back my old favourite Nasi Lemak, yeah! XD

Looks like Mr. Daniel has a lot of problems although went for vacation in Korea. All the best to him to solve his dilemma. Oh, this phrase maybe suitable for him, which I saw in Jess tumbler today:

"If something is important to you, you'll find a WAY. If it isn't, you'll find an EXCUSE".

Maybe not for him but for another? I dunno... but I definitely support this phrase as it is a fact that we did not notice in our own selves. A problem will not solve itself, we are the ones who will solve it or risk it becoming a bigger problem in the future.

Suddenly I became so knowledgeable and wise, wakaka. But actually I'm the weakest and most naive among all, sadness...... Thats all for now, ciao~!

Another day another night...

Every week seems to bring in new flavors. Sometimes sweet, sometimes sour... sometimes tasty, others shitty. But most of all, I look towards my favorite day of the week... Saturday night. It is the night where I get to release my stress and hang out with my friends. Weekends are the best when you are working, and you don't really feel it when you are a student, haha... ><

This week started good... then suddenly turned catastrophe on Friday. I was 'advised' and 'scolded' by my boss for not graping the opportunity when I am placed in the production department. At first I felt that I am not entirely too blame cause I thought they will ask me if I want to follow them during shootings, then I realized it actually works the other way round. She said that if I wanted to join them, I should ask them when the opportunity arises. Yeah, it was my fault for being 'dominant' and too shy to ask.

Thinking hard... I feel that I am not suitable to be a director in the future. I am not aggressive enough, nor will I sacrifice my time in doing late night shootings or travelling outstation anytime when work calls. I want to work in a stable company, from 8-5, not needing to OT or travel so much. Those traits are all not available in a director! So..... with a heavy heart, I think I should pick another road to walk, sigh.....

Whatever the reason is, I will stay focused and continue my studies. Many people don't get to work in the field they studied anyway, so I shouldn't worry so much... right? Trying to make myself better? haha...

Yesterday yamcha with Jimmy, Wingc, YL and her sis + CMing. Six of us only but I had a very good time. I can forget the world and just enjoy with my friends... free and easy and not giving a damn about the world. It was worth it even though I need to 'pass' my parents permission to drive so far, so late in the night. YL even got prettier with her new hair style with no dye. She still haven't make her move to try out for the guy she fancied, but in the Jaya One, Old town Kopitiam she 'like' a status of the guy in FB.

A first move, but a big step for her. I wish her all the best to try out for that guy. Cause I know the feeling where you feel there is something 'inside' that couldn't be let go, still clinging to that small hope that he/she could be with you, if you tried. I know I couldn't... but I wish you could, YL. All the best in finding your future... you deserve a better man.

It's Magic time!

Magic is a card game... and it's a very fun game. Currently busy thinking of how to make a cheap standard deck so I can join FNM for the first time (because its free, haha). And best of all... it keeps me focused and occupied, no time to think about love related stuffs. Yes...! XD

Go go go kuldotha red!

An educational yamcha

Yesterday yamcha was one of the most memorable yamcha of my life. Why? Cause YL's sister came, and we talk about some stuffs that involve me... and YL. There was laughter most of the time... and the hidden pain in my heart too.

First of let's talk about YL. I dont know if I mentioned it before but last time she asked for my opinions on how to make a guy fall for her that she was interested in, in MSN. I gave her some pointers of course, but after that I didn't receive any news from her so I thought it was over. Yesterday proved me wrong... she is still in love with a colleague in her office, yet too scared and shy to approach him (so does the guy, who she say likes her too). She also mentioned another guy who is now courting her, for quite a long time too. At first she say she doesn't like him but after quite a long time of non-give up courting by the guy, she is slowly accepting him.

This means that she will either go and have a try at the guy she secretly in love with (we gave her some ways to test and approach him in a more indirect way) or fail and go with this never give up guy instead. Whatever the option is, finally she's in love... which makes me happy and sad at the same time too. Still, my only wish for her is 'go for it YL! you deserve a better man'...

Mixed feelings are in my heart at that moment (and now) and somehow I don't know how but we chat on and EC (YL's sister) said I am too straight forward and honest... which is a bad thing (they said). We laughed about it... and me being too honest and naive is a fact. Actually it was my fault... I tried to make a joke about it but it turned out I was saying 'forgive me, I was just being honest'. Everyone laughed... but then I am puzzled about myself. Why did I said so? Was I trying to make people happy... or is it really my own characteristic that I couldn't stop? Was it accidental... or on purpose? To be honest, it was a little bit of both but they only can see me one way... which is I REALLY am too honest/ straight forward/ naive.

How do I take in those criticism? Two ways... One is yes, I agree and the other is not. I agree that sometimes I am too honest, which I couldn't help myself! I don't like to lie to people, and I don't want people to lie to me too. Thus I feel really bad about myself if I do... which gets me 'killed' in the society today. Sigh... why am I born in this era? I deserve to live in the old times more, where people are more trustful and honest... not needing to lie and 'act' in front of people, just to please other people and 'blend' in. I guess I already explained why I don't agree being honest is a bad thing with these sentences too... My heart is saying no but my brain is saying yes. Lie! Cheat! Deceive and shoe polish! All of these are needed in this world now... I despise it but its a cruel fact that all need to obey to be a 'normal' human. Sad... really sad.

Whatever I said above, I still enjoyed the yamcha last night. It was really fruitful, and had a big impact in my heart. Finally I can lift the burden of my heart and see the 10 years crush REALLY fades away as she finds a man and in the end gets married. I wonder if I can love a person that much, that faithfully... in my future? I don't know... but I wouldn't find one who doesn't like me for who I am (first), before I change for her. I feel scared that I would fall in love with another girl who is like YL, the opposite of my dream girl... but fate is something one can't control sometimes. Oh well, time will tell. Adios~

A random post Vol.1

What am I doing? Why am I lost?... What is the purpose of my existence? What do I long for?... Is it a fact or an illusion? To what extend will I sacrifice for it?... Is it worth it? Am I worthy of it?

So many questions sometimes pop in my mind. I guess being lonely has its downs after all, not that I didn't realized it a long time ago... But to cope with it is a challenge. To endure it is a test of wits. To surpass it is a long, long way from home...

Numb, soulless and chaotic... I walk along the path of life, not knowing what will come, not expecting what must be done. In illusions I drown myself to feel better, in pain I endure man's life. Sometimes I feel ready to be gone, sometimes I feel there is much I must do, before I am...

Too weak to struggle, too big to survive. Will I be a man, or a speck of dust in this world called earth?... I am not without feelings nor brains, yet I see nothing shining brightly in the tunnel of life. I am grateful of my surroundings but my heart yearns more... Is more better, or far worse?

Let it be, said the wise one. So let it be, I shall... I will work my way while letting fate takes it course. Will I live long enough to see it happens? I hope I will... because my heart is beating, my mind is wondering. Slowly but surely, only for her...........

By,

Ichitaka

I thought of writing a "letter" to YL here... I even drafted the letter in the office on what I wanted to say, yesterday (cause there was NOTHING to do in the office). But I changed my mind. Why you ask? Cause first, I know YL won't read it. Second, it's a waste of time writing it. It will only look sucky, emo and well... stupid too, lol.

Since life is about learning from stupid mistakes, I might as well write down some of what I intended to write in the letter. I wanted to first tell her how I first started to fell in love with her when we first met each other in college. It wasn't a made up story, but in my heart that time, I really felt happy, just the two of us... relaxing and talking in yum yum park. And it was also the truth when I had an instinct then that I know that it will not last, and you will sure leave me soon... and it did.

Heartbroken, envious, mad and sad because you were in love with 'ah fai', I swifted my emotions when ylin become nice to me. And it ended in a tragedy too... it was also my first time to shed tears for a girl cause I put all my soul into it and thinking "this is the one".

After years, I finally forgotten ylin... but my heart was still with you. Yes it usually goes up and down, like the tides of tsunami (means rarely super high, usually down), but I REALLY cannot shake the feeling off. I drown myself in games, food, studies, friends... but whenever I saw you or have any free time of my mind, the feeling keeps haunting me again...!

I'm writing this not ask you to love me... just to voice out what I hid inside all this years. I REALLY want you to find a better guy than me and get married, because I know I will never be qualified to be with you... not to say I have no self confidence but since I am still studying, I know where I stand. 10 years, and I still can't forget you... what a sucker right? haha~

Last words: If you ever feel down or when I am gone, just know that there was once a guy who loved you for over 10 years, secretly but truthfully in the shadows and he did for a long, long, long time.....

Work life

So this is what work life feels like... I felt it once doing my intern last time, but have already thrown the bad past away thus forgetting it. Now living afresh, I can feel the meaning of 'working' again...

How does it feel doing intern in FNM but not getting paid? Good... maybe not the best, but I can say here is way better than when I am doing intern as a graphic designer in that stupid company in Cheras. Although 90% is Malay, that doesn't stop me from knowing new friends. I am quite happy studying while working in FNM, and hope I can work here one day, haha... XD

Getting less time for games and need to sleep early every night to prevent myself from feeling sleepy in the office. One good thing about working is I am too busy to think about love related stuffs. Wait... is that a good thing or a bad one? lol...

CNY has passed, and I wonder if YL have gotten a bf since that day she went for the other group of friends than ours. Useless to think about it, but you know I can't control myself when it comes to her, haha... Must try self hypnosis to myself one day! >.<

Hope by the end of the intern I really can become a successful director... or at least someone who can make good films, one way or another. I want to be different... not weird like Daniel, but different in a good way... cause non of my friends are involved in this field! Must be because of the crazy working hours or low pay? Hmm...

First day of internship in FNM

Yah, now I am blogging in Filem Negara Malaysia. This time must do private browsing, in case this 'secret' blog is discovered, haha...

2 days ago was the best day for this year. Had a bunch of joy and happiness with my old TARC friends. Although YL didn't go, Daniel also didn't go, it was still full of fun and laughter all the way... Heard YL dressed up very prettily for a gathering with her colleagues. Why she doesn't do like that for our group, I wonder...?

Looking back at some old post and pictures make me feel what a fool I am last time... maybe still am, right now. I know I am not perfect to complain about other people's weaknesses... so I won't. So I will just say it out as a whole, as a general...

Today is Valentine's Day. It is a day where people go out to celebrate with their love ones. I don't have one, so I will save money and celebrate it alone at home... haha. Anyway, love has always been the issue of debate, talks, arguments and gossip. Some of my friends are getting more 'intimate' with their love ones, thus I now understand the phrase 'love changes a person'. Some of my friends are heartbroken or broke up with their pair, thus the phrase 'love is fragile'. Then there are people who are still single or just having fun without being comitted, and they looked highly to the phrase 'give me freedom or give me death!'. LOL... so I'm the last one, wakakaka...

I think I fall in love too easily... maybe cause I am lonely, or maybe because I am easily swerved by people of the opposite sex that treated me well. Whatever the reason, I will remain single until the day I have a fix income. Because with no money comes no love... It's a harsh fact of life used by the famous 'Weird Dan'. I also uses it because I know with the current pocket money, there is no way I can go out dating, haha...

Signing off now. Happy CNY and Valentines Day to all my readers. Ciaoz~! ^^