I thought of writing a "letter" to YL here... I even drafted the letter in the office on what I wanted to say, yesterday (cause there was NOTHING to do in the office). But I changed my mind. Why you ask? Cause first, I know YL won't read it. Second, it's a waste of time writing it. It will only look sucky, emo and well... stupid too, lol.

Since life is about learning from stupid mistakes, I might as well write down some of what I intended to write in the letter. I wanted to first tell her how I first started to fell in love with her when we first met each other in college. It wasn't a made up story, but in my heart that time, I really felt happy, just the two of us... relaxing and talking in yum yum park. And it was also the truth when I had an instinct then that I know that it will not last, and you will sure leave me soon... and it did.

Heartbroken, envious, mad and sad because you were in love with 'ah fai', I swifted my emotions when ylin become nice to me. And it ended in a tragedy too... it was also my first time to shed tears for a girl cause I put all my soul into it and thinking "this is the one".

After years, I finally forgotten ylin... but my heart was still with you. Yes it usually goes up and down, like the tides of tsunami (means rarely super high, usually down), but I REALLY cannot shake the feeling off. I drown myself in games, food, studies, friends... but whenever I saw you or have any free time of my mind, the feeling keeps haunting me again...!

I'm writing this not ask you to love me... just to voice out what I hid inside all this years. I REALLY want you to find a better guy than me and get married, because I know I will never be qualified to be with you... not to say I have no self confidence but since I am still studying, I know where I stand. 10 years, and I still can't forget you... what a sucker right? haha~

Last words: If you ever feel down or when I am gone, just know that there was once a guy who loved you for over 10 years, secretly but truthfully in the shadows and he did for a long, long, long time.....