Can ex (or secret admire) become friends again?

Long have I seen this question, pooping up again from time to time... The real question is, can you become friend again with ur ex or secret admirer (or crush), friend? Well, most of the time... you can. But easier said than done, most ppl need time in doing so... some months, other years! A girl I once have a crush on rejected me, and I didn't want to see nor talk to her until like... 3 years later. Well, maybe I'm lucky (or not?)... but she got married, so I can feel 'better' when talking to her, not that awkward anymore. What can I say? Time will slowly heal a wound... but lucky I confronted her and expressed my feelings that time, else I will be 'stuck' like I am with 'her' until now... So take that final blow and heal later! lol...

A short poem

I have never thought, because I never forgot,
What it feels to be with a love one,
What I have sought, can never be bought,
In the end, again I aimlessly run...

Work and ambitions

Have you ever stop and think... 'Am I doing the job that I love, or just because there's no other choice?' As many of you would agree, what we wished to work as (our ambition), in the past, is not the same as what we turn up to work as, in the future. There's too many ppl, but too little work available. Getting a job now is considered lucky, but working in a job that you loved is super lucky! Thus I'm still thinking now... what will I do when I graduate? Will I become one among the working zombies? Or will I be happily participating everyday, working in the job that I love...? I donno, only time can tell (but I wish for choice 2!) ^^;

P/S: I salute to all the working ppl out there, that have to endure everyday of 'pain' until now... :P

First love

First love... isn't that a wonderful feeling? There is even a hit song named 'First love' from a Japanese singer, Utada Hikaru and it's still a nice song to be heard now. Maybe ppl like listen to it cause it reminds them of thier very own 'first love'...

And like I always said, first love is the deepest. If you are REALLY lucky, then the first love could in the end be your wife/ husband. Somehow... I think that first love relationships will go a loooooooong way, if both also have their lover as their first love. Why? Cause you will love truly, madly and deeply with your first love... because you have never love someone else before (except your parents) that much.

I've felt it before, that's why I know. I have seen my friends felt it before, that's why I know. Like me, their first love is hard to be forgotten and even if it doesn't work out, the memories will still live deep inside. Some may even HOPE he/ she will be together with his/ her first love again... but most failed, cause not everyone is lucky. So, be like me... and cherish the first love and let it go. The real 'one' is somewhere, out there and you will meet him/ her soon. All you can do now is let it be..... T_T

Denial... not Daniel *lol*

Long has I been in my group of friends, and I have seen so much denial. What is denial? Denial is when you don't acknowledge something which is true... and you keep on saying or thinking it's not. You might be the only one who say it's not, but all the ppl around you say it is. Is that not denial enough? Well... some still deny it till their last breath, and never awaken from their 'dream'.

It happened to me too... I denied what my friends said, and I still thought that I have a chance with her. Now I have awaken and will not deny it no more. I will accept the hard and harsh truth, and do something about it. Instead of pretending, why not change for the better right?

So, to those that have been denying something all this while... it's time to wake up. I know it won't feel good, sad or painful... but you need to accept it like I do and do the right thing. Denying it any further will only make it worse and depressing. If you dont know what you are denying, then you should even do more about it! Cheers... ^^

Feelings.....

Wow... Didn't really know until I finally made up my mind to not woo 'her' anymore, did I realized that apart of me feels... 'missing'. God didn't make the world in a day, so I couldn't forget her that fast too. Although I don't want to think of her anymore... deep inside my heart, I really feel 'empty'. Oh well, time will slowly heal my wounds. I hope I don't need to see her soon, so that I could recover peacefully and slowly. And please don't remind me of 'her', especially Eith and Rukawa... Else I cannot heal, then I blame you! LOL... :P

I have been a fool...

Yes, I admit I have been the lovefool all this while... but hearing it from someone else's mouth makes me feel like... an even bigger fool. All this while, I have tried hard to make her happy... but not only did she not appreciate it, she even avoided me. It was so obvious, I thought only I can see it... but now I know it's not. I feel so mad, now that I think of it... why didnt I wake up? Why did I keep on disgracing myself... for a girl who dont give a damn if I live or die in this world? My heart was crushed when I FINALLY awaken by the cruel fact... that it was really one sided all along, with no chance of success at all in the beginning...

Thus, with a heavy heart... I have declared myself to stop loving her. YES, really 100% STOP loving 'HER'...!!! The love of my life, which I never loved so much for so long before... will finally be erased from my heart. I will not feel jealous, mad nor sad... She is a nobody in my life already. I have so much more better friends than her, and I shall one day take the final step of erasing her h/p humber from my phone, and all the SMS's that I kept... i will never want to see her name anymore. I will not use her name in another game I play, and I will not even think that I have the slightest chance of being with her anymore, in the future. It will be a big step, but I shall walk the path of determination. I will not love but hate, I will not miss but despise... and I shall not fall beneath the cluthes of that evil witch, anymore!

I wont even give her a chance if she were to accept me in the future, cause all these six years of pain is more than enough to prove that she doesnt deserve my love at all. I will not wept for her, because I know it will be useless and she will only laugh at my misery. I shall become a stronger man and find someone worthy of my love. Begone you accursed woman, for I shall be reborn as a new man!!! Those who post comments in this post here, be my witness!

Yesterday was a fun and 'informative' day...

Went out with my friends yesterday. It was very sudden cause they informed me on Sat and I was about to go out with Sum on Sunday to play cards but as they asked me first, so I gave them the priority... lol. Wake up early morning at 730am, Sunday... omg, I must be crazy. Then chat with my dad in MSN cause he accidentally twisted his arm plus its his bday today! I made a Happy Bday picture and send to his email too. Then rush to prepare up myself and walk down the hill, in the hazy morning which is definitely bad for me! >.<; Lucky I didnt wait for long and the bus came, and as I reach wangsa maju the bus was just about to leave, so double lucky! ^^

Then reach Sg Wang early, terus walk to Times Square. Waited for nearly half an hour only SG came, alone. Saide Oon will be late, so we both go and try book Neway first. At Neway they say we need to wait till 1130 to see if there is still any room left, but that will make us left 1 and a half hour to sing! (cause lunch package till 1pm) Oon later reach, so we try calling Red Box. They say there is still room left at Sg Wang, so we walk all the way back there.

Went inside Redbox, sing out hearts out and ate. When nearly 1pm (which is the time we check out) Daniel came. Thought no need include him in the ppl list but then the staff came and say must order or 'bungkus' back. So shit! So Daniel ordered his food and ate, fortunately our time extended to 2pm also, donno why... :P

After that went to Sg Wang to buy some stuffs, then walk to lowyat and see some com stuffs. The 3 of them bought some com stuufs, then we walk down to yamcha at the Hainan restorant. Drink and rest there for quite some time, and it was really interesting and more enjoyable than with a bunch of ppl... donno why, lol. Wow, talk until so late liao, so we decided to continue our 'interesting' conversation over dinner. We walk for some time, thinking what to eat. Then I found an interesting place, Secret Recipe and we went to eat there. It was expensive but a bit worth it la, cause the food was nice. Chat some more 'interesting' conversations and it was really fun, wished it would continue for the whole night!

So we parted as it was 9pm++ liao... wow, so late! Me and Daniel took the bus home while SG and Oon took the Monorail. On the way continue some more 'interesting' conversation with Daniel and finally reached home at about 12am... siao. So today went out for more than 13 hours, gila man! But it was really enjoyable. I have a lot of fun talking with them and I learned a lot from my mistakes, my history and my weakness. I realised something important from the eye of another friend... and I realised I was such a fool. I was angry and sad, yet happy to know that I should not carry this burden anymore, cause it is not my fault but hers..... Next time we must have it again, just the four of us, LOL...! Didnt 'feel' so good for such a loooooooong time! ^^

The air pollution is back...

Yup, the haze IS BACK. With the current eye view, I couldn't even see the houses beneath my balcony (I live in high mountain area) and KLCC just 'vanished' without a trace. So serious, I have to close most of the windows and doors to not let the haze in. The ones working in office maybe not effected, but those who need to go to see clients sure 'kena' liao. MC! MC!! lol... Drink more water lor dudes... :P Dont say I didnt warn ya!

A new life awaits...

Went to see the teacher yesterday... and as expected, kena tiao... and worse of all, the teacher thinks it's my fault for kena sack. WTF, didnt he ever heard of 'berat sebelah' and unfairness? I was mistreated, hanged without a trial! Oh well, I'm starting to care less what the world thinks... tiao let them tiao, I dont care anymore.

And the shithead company writes that I have 'no interest' in working there... GO TO HELL LA U!!! I was doing the best I could, kena tiao also do like shit, no friends also work like shit... then she said I have no interest?!? Fu*k you Bit*h!!! Damn company politics... because I upset the art director, then he go complain to his bit*h creative director, and both gangbang 'kill' me on the spot, without me giving a chance to give any explanation. Life sucks when you see this kind of 'big rock kill small crab' situations. I wish them have a good life, in HELL!!!

Now I have to write a report on how my suckening life is, working with those bast*rds and bitc*es at that shit place... oh well, hope the teacher understands how I feel when I write how unfair I was treated there. If he STILL believe them, then to HELL with all of them... I don't care, I shouldn't care... I will become like Rukawa and don't give a damn liao how the world is... LOL.

P/S: Forgive me if there is too many 'tuutness' in this post. TY...

Cicilia Chung and Nicholas Tse married!

Wow... yesterday just saw her movie on the TV. It's a movie about the hardship of life, love and work. I saw it and almost shed a tear, so 'kam tong'... A very nice movie indeed, makes me think about my life too. Sigh...

Suddenly today saw in the newspaper that she is married to Nicholas Tze Ting Fong! Happy... to see her married a young, talented and handsome actor. Sad... cause she is not single anymore, lol. Oh well, I'm a fan of Cicilia Chung myself, so I wish her all the best with her new husband! Wish I get a gf as beautiful as her too... :P