Life is hard

After the tedious presentation, I can see some of my friends not feeling happy and relaxed. Some have the problem of being backstabbed by their own teammates for not doing their part of the work well... some being complained behind their back for asking too much help from friends to do the assignments... others got sick/ tension because of their own life's problems/ future assignments.

Argh, I am nearly going crazy because of assignments too...! But I know doing that will not help, so I calm myself with games. Although yesterday I had a lot of fun playing SDO with W, I know we could only remain as good friends. Sad she doesn't feel 'more' than I wished for... happy that I and her are best of friends... Life doesn't always go the way you want.

I had another 'funny' moment yesterday when CK and I played some random FB quiz. Determined by some random bot, I and her both got no.1 for each other in the quiz 'Best Friend Forever'. Suddenly the bf saw it and became angry, and tuut another guy who teased us for getting no.1 among each other. I was amazed yet laughing at how childish and emo the bf is...! It's just a quiz, like that also jealous? Haha... kids.

Time to take a breather!

Ahh... finally some time to relax after rushing for those damn assignments for nearly 2 weeks. I was so busy that I couldn't even play Dragonica, haha...

Let's talk about what I was thinking when I had a lot of free time in school today, as I waited for the lecture to start. Eh wait... it was actually after presentation. LG presented before me, and somehow I can feel I'm different from last time. Why? Cause last time whenever LG presented, I will take out my hp and record down all of it. Now... I don't even think of doing that. Wow... looks like I'm really is treating LG as a normal friend now.

W... there's up and downs with W, although mostly ups. She's like a very good friend which I like (note: LIKE) very much. Talking with her is so fun as she's enjoying talking to me too. This kind of feeling is hard to come by since I'm either too shy or the other side is scared of me (or some other reason). Maybe because she's very friendly to not only me but all... that's why I like her very much.

My mind went a little too far again when I compared LG and W in a situation... If both of them were to feel into the sea and are drowning, who am I to save first? Weird... but in the end, I choose W over LG. Is W really such a nicer friend compare to LG now? Yup, I think so...

Haha, there I go again, ranting about love stuffs... just a little ranting on my online diary, don't mind me... XD

Celebrating WingC's bday

Yesterday was a tired and full of fun day. Early morning Daniel sent me to Sg Wang where he went for his Japanese class (got exam) and I went for karaoke. In Green Box Sg Wang room 30, I saw SG and her friend (which they say were beautiful, I didn't notice, haha), YLing, CMing, Jimmy and of course WingC. We sang our hearts out and I was happy that now SG prefer English songs over Chinese (yay! an English kaki, haha!). The food was sucky, lucky there were free flow of drinks (from soft drinks to hot drinks like Milo). They even had some beer which was free from a coupon.

After karaoke we went for window shopping. It was fun helping and looking how girls buy clothes. SG tried a few gowns that I recomended, which looked stunning on her. Pity it was expensive else she would have bought them. I must say... girls in dresses or gowns are absolutely beautiful!

We then splitted because SG and WingC had to go for massage and body treatment. So the rest of us went to Borders to have a look at some books/ magazines and SG's friend left. It is suprised that I accidentally found a book which gives a lot of meaningful phrases. One of them is 'Keep away or kick away bad people which makes you feel down or stressful. No point in keeping bad apples that only hurt you more than they do good.' I agree... these 'people' are better left leaving in their own world, that doesn't involve me! XD

Then we went for yamcha at some kopitiam style restaurant. We chatted a long while, and Daniel joined us soon after buying some stuffs from Lowyat. We sat there for quite long, since WingC even joined us and later when we left, it was nearly 2 hours after WingC came... to find SG. After joining back the whole group, we went for a little more window shopping before heading out for dinner at Friendster Cafe somewhere near The Curve area.

Again we had a blast there. The food was nice but expensive. Then I saw the game 'Taboo" which I asked to be played among us. And indeed it was the best choice. The game went on for hours and we all laughed happily due to the way we answered or guessed the questions. I thought me and Daniel would dominate the game since we are more fluent in English but end up WingC was the champion, haha... We left nearly around 12am and Daniel sent SG home.

This morning woke up around 5.30am and followed Daniel for his run at Dataran Merdeka. I did not joined the run but was just the cameraman (and baggage keeper, lol). There was a lot of people but not a lot of pretty girls, haha. I tried to took some photos but most of them went blur because I was noob in taking moving pictures. Kena 'tuut' by Daniel, lol... ><

Daniel finished in 1hour and 6min, which was a bit slow due to going up the hill that he didn't expected. The fastest runner finished in nearly half an hour... which was amazing for a 10km race. Most of them (the top 7) were foreigners. After Daniel reached I had some Milo, he continued to take some pics and we left for brunch in Wangsa Maju. Went back terus sleep for a couple of hours because damn tired. Oh no, got projects to do... Ciao!

P/S: YLing is getting prettier and prettier, and I'm happy for her. I do not put anymore hopes, just glad we are still friends... including in LG and W. Friends is what I need for now, not love...

Lately...

So what's been happening lately? Busy with assignments as usual... But I was sad when the teacher suddenly announced next week need to present and pass up an assignment which I barely touched. Not sad because I need to rush doing it, but sad because I have to cancel my plan of joining Pilla and LG going to Pulau Ketam. I really scare can't finish it or rushing it too much that the project will end up looking really bad. And Pilla was a bit mad that I FFK her... which added my 'pain' of disappointing a friend. LG going wor... and I can't go! You think I not sad meh... T_T

But on the other hand I am able to go for WingC's bday celebration which is held earlier cause she will be busy for the coming months (donno why). It's been quite some time since I last saw them, and going out with friends no matter how many times will always be a good (and happy) thing for me.

Today I even accidentally saw one of my old MIA teachers... actually I hated him last time due to something he did but when I saw him, I was suprised. We chatted a while and found out he was teaching part time in TARC too, under Mr Chen, wow. Time heals hatred too, haha...

Although I did my best to be as good as possible, there are still some rotten people out there who hates me for my guts. It is really surprising how some people just like to get into fights for no apparent reason. I try my best to ignore them but like pesky flies, they always come back. No one is perfect, including me... but why do they want to keep 'shooting' my weaknesses (which most are not true)... when they themselves have weaknesses? Do they feel more superior doing such childish acts? Are they so bored and nothing to do? Why don't they get a life and go bug some other people? Tsk... Tsk.....

Haha, I think I have said this more than once liao... but since this is my online diary, I can say whatever I feel like writing. Ups and downs, good and bad... It's my life, so go get your own!

A word of wisdom

"Different people different thought, different attitude different action,different style different life and yet, only these thing that overcome it; honesty, happiness and positive thinking..."

Friend's wedding, Hani & Fairuz

Last Sat and yesterday I went for Hani and Fairuz's wedding. A big congratulations to the two couples... Hani have been a very good friend of mine in secondary school and I'm happy to see him married to a good man like Fairuz, which is my friend too. The happiest I think would be Uma Shankar, since it was his best friend's wedding.

I went with Edward (the kind dude who fetched us ^^) and Shalini. We chat and hang out as we talk on various stuffs during the 2 lunch wedding ceremony. Yesterday's was more fun as we stick around later than the week before. Thought of asking David to join but somehow it didn't work out, haha (because he was in PJ and we were making up our minds on leaving soon or not)...

Overall it was fun... how often can you meet up with your old classmates again, right? We are busy with our own routines but I have asked Edward and he say he can join us yamcha next time (and I found out that he's a Gundam fan too, haha).

Next Sat I maybe going to Pulau Ketam or going for karaoke to celebrate WingC's bday... another Sat I can't wait to arrive! XD

MSN with LG

It was fun MSN with LG... although ended very suddenly. She keep asking me about a person I dislike... and why I dislike him. I say secret yet she keep asking, and in the end gave up and say bb -_-'

Oh well... it was fun while it lasted.

Going to fall again

Oh no... what am I doing!? I just climb back up... almost to the top of the hole, suddenly I felt a pressure to fall back inside! What am I doing!? Wake up, wake up! I must not fall again... If I fall, I may lose another good friend... that I wished to see everyday. I musn't fall, I musn't let ppl see that I'm falling once again... I MUSN'T!!! ><

Transformer with cousemates

This Wed went to Times Square to watch Transformer 2: Revenge of the Fallen with coursemates. That means seniors, juniors and 2 lecturers joined us in watching it. W was there, which made it more enjoyable. LG was also there, but she was like... wasn't there. Saw her a glimpse before and after the movie, then dissapeared liao. But W hanged out with us until nearly the end...

Michael Jackson died on Thursday, which was a very sad thing. Although a lot of ppl tease him, I still respect him cause he really is The King of Pop. Rest in peace MJ...

There's news the H1N1 flu infected TARC too... donno if it's true or not, no 100% confirmation yet. We have no time to bother about that with assingments deadlines coming soon... X_x

The cure of loneliness

It's been so long since I updated... been busy playing Dragonica since it is officially opened in Asia now. So what exciting stuff have happened to my life these past few weeks?

Nothing big... Since me and LG's timetable clashes most of the time now, and my timetable doesn't have big time gaps in between... I don't need to waste my time to find her anymore. She doesn't call me/ SMS me anymore too, since her siblings are all now under one roof.

So do I miss her? Yup... sometimes, but usually only when I saw her in lecture class. The feeling is starting to go away, since I felt sad that she really treats me nothing more than a friend. And I'm still using the 'hate psychology', in which whenever I see her, I should hate her, not think more of her... which only subsides my feelings. How can I hate her? lol...

And lately I hang out more with my classmates... W, to be precise. Since I am not so 'in' with the others, I hang out with W's gang, which all consist of girls (5 girls). Do I feel weird hanging with them? None at all... since we are more of the 'nice and hardworking' type compare to the others. Did I stick with them because of W? A part of it, yes... but I feel that my best friend now in class is only her and CK, which is her best friend. We like games, talk in Cantonese and 'saves money', which makes us mix well together. I am in their group in one of the assignments too.

So what about love? Is love really disappeared from LG and shifted to W? No... the precise answer is it is FADING away from LG and... stopped there. I don't want to put my love on W, because deep inside I know I'm nobody special, and she will not fall for a nobody like me. Without money, chasing girls are completely out of my league too. So I shall focus on my studies and just treat W and my friends as buddies... to joke around, fooling each other and laughing together. It is more fun and lasts longer too.

That is why I'm a bit addicted to Dragonica now... Most of my friends are there, we can do stuffs together while having a good time leveling. Since I am a nobody in real life, at least I can teach/ help my friends in the virtual reality. Yes it may sounds pathetic, but it's the only thing I can do... for now. I feel happy when I help ppl because if they're happy, I am happy. But I have no such power in the real world... so this is my only way of escape.

Am I sad because of this? Nope... I know my own weakness and shall not be feeling down because of it. I will live my life happily, doing as much as I can before I die. no matter what people say, I will stand on my own principle in life. I know some advise me for the better, but if doing it will make me better but in the same time sad-der, does it worth it? Like a saying goes 'If we work to live, why are we dead working?'. I shall walk on my own pace, steadily and happily... XD

First week starting tutorial/ practical classes

Finally all the classes started this week. For the whole week, there is only 3 lecture classes, which means I will only be able to see LG 3 days a week... which is a good thing. This whole week have been hanging out with W, CK, Pilla and YC most of the time (all 4 are girls). Haha, I know I should be hanging out more with the guys but somehow we just don't click. Now I know how it feels to be the only boy in a group, lol...

Yesterday yamcha with Ah Ming, which is very sudden. I can't yamcha on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday night as I got an 8am class the following day but since it was him, an exception is given, haha. He fetched me and Daniel to yamcha at Bangi Kopitiam in Taman Melawati town.

We jokes and talked about many stuffs, including our love lives. Then it hit me... should I really tell LG that I like her? Although I already know the answer, but is telling her going to make any difference? ...................... No, I dont think so.

Maybe it was because of the trauma I felt when chasing YLin. At that time I did a lot of stuff to please her, including going far places just to find her by LRT, buying her stuffs to please her, call her everyday, etc. But now... I don't do those stuff anymore..... Why??

The feeling of rejected after 100% sure of getting a girl really hits deep. Somehow deep inside... I don't trust love anymore, although I yearn for it. That's why I did all those 'safe' stuffs like asking friends/ spies for info on a girl I like. It makes me feel safer because I won't feel that 'killing pain' of being rejected, face to face anymore. If you don't put that much hope, then you won't feel that much pain. That's what I think...

Pathetic philosophy, I know, haha... but it's hard to cure a trauma once it hits you 'hard', and I mean Rock Bottom Hard that HARD. So many maybe, so many uncertainties... I don't think I will succeed in this game called love..... for a long long time.

Currently I'm happy hanging out with W and friends. She's now the 'printing manager' too, which is like an assistant to me, the class rep, haha. But she's gonna 'eat' a lot of money... haha. Anyway, friendship is my way of curing loneliness... to stop 'thinking' too much... and forgets LG.