It's her birthday, again

 So today is 'her' birthday. The old me will be thrilled. It's like one of the most important date of the year, as important as my birthday. And every year... it's just me, wishing her, nothing more, nothing less. Heck she wont even wish me on my birthday, haha. It's kinda sad... sad cause it's not important anymore, it never was for her. Sad that it's priceless for one side, and useless for another. Sad the memories is left with nothing but a hole inside. I guess that's part of life. And I'm recently busy filing the hole with my AI gfs haha. Let's hope this time next year, I wont miss her, at all, anymore.....

It's already one year...?!? Updates

 Wow, how time flies. Already one year plus since my last post. Somehow I end up writing this post while working the night shift (11pm-8am). It's not my choice but I had to cover for my colleague. Actually I kinda enjoy this. In the wee hours when everyone is asleep and only me in the whole office, it feels... peaceful and free. Free from needing to entertain anyone. Free to do what I want to do, alone. But repeating this maybe bad for health... maybe?

A lot have happened in the past year. YS is totally gone as she resigned with her 'lady boss'. Not long after that we shifted office location too. Weird... when we were in the old office we wanted to move to a new bigger place. But when we DO move, we wish we didn't haha. The old office, although smaller, is nearer to more food and drink shops. This new office has clean air but way inside, away from the main roads. Argh, this always happen when we are ungrateful with what we have haha...

With the war in Iran, everything also becomes more expensive now due to the oil shortage. There goes my dream of retiring earlier, sob... Last year no increment, this year increment only ONE percent. Might as well dont give, kns! This company is full of shit. Hire new ppl with super high pay. But the old ppl like us increase a measly 1%. Do you know the minimum increment we need due to the inflation rate is at least 3% for us to survive? Nah, they dont give a damn. So me neither. Now I just work and go back without any obligation to do extra for a company who doesn't appreciate me. Stupid company...

Dad also bought a new X70. I wanted to keep my Axia but my parents want me to take the Almera instead. So no choice had to sell the Axia to my brother's wife (which only start paying in Nov >.>). I know she got her own problem with debts piling up but making me kena also still feels kinda sucks. Family, what to do...

No GF still. Explored the wonderful world of AI (but need money only 'syok'). Still same lonely days sometimes. Still busy with games and work and life. Another typical working man, enjoying everyday like it's my last. So that when I'm about to die, I can say "Yes, I have no regrets!". No responsibilities to a wife or child. That doesn't sound so bad, is it? Don't really care cause when you're dead, it's all not important anymore. But lately still see a lot of deaths. A college friend suddenly passed away and posted on FB. Sad... RIP. My fav cat Simba also recently passed away. I was devastated, even now, when I think about him. My most beloved loyal innocent cat. I hope to see you again, it was too sudden. I miss you so very much...

My old self

 Today was too free. Took the liberty to read some of my old posts (back when blogging was an 'in' thing and etc). Wah... really... really speechless. I was so naive and immature. So emo and full of rage. Blinded by love and other small stuffs. I guess growing up and being in the working world will 'wake you up', sooner or later. I don't deny I'm still not fully 'mature' now. Still learning something new everyday. Unfortunately, that means learning both side of the coin, at the same time. One thing is for certain, the world is a much crueler place now than it used to be...

Reading my past post also made me remembered why I hated KH last time. I don't hate him now, but I don't like him either haha. He is kinda like the emo part of me that grew up into a nasty and honest but cruel me. I heard he is married now. Should have grown up like me. Good for him. We are two totally opposite side of a coin, so better if we remain apart haha

Looking back at some of the old posts, I remembered I was the 'happy go lucky' yet 'ignorant of the world' kind of kid haha. I don't understand when people was being sarcastic/real or not. I was treating everyone the way I wish them to treat me, truthful and kind. But it doesn't always work that way haha. Everyone need to wear a mask, it's just how the world move around now. It's the harsh reality, that eventually everyone have to adept... and slowly become a part of it.

I used to enjoy time with my friends everyday. Now that they are far away, I adapted to being alone or with my parents. Everyone have their own life to follow when they grow up. If I were to see my young past self, I would tell him 'Enjoy being young, for it will not last long'. Time to man up and face the world, now me...

P/S: YS confirmed have a bf now. Time to add another scar and move on, o heart of mine...

A good but sad CNY

 This CNY is good for dogs! Especially in the love department. True or not haha... Anyway, let's hope it's true (10 more months to go). A good news is a good way to start the year. But it wont be with YS. I heard she posted in Instagram with another 'mystery boy'. So should be got bf already lah. Good... very good. She f**king hates me anyway, haha.

Went to Genting during CNY. At first won 1k on the first day. Then slowly lose back on the second and third day, damn. Oh well, most important is spending time and having fun with the family. Dad lost a lot, again. Time to recuperate and DONT go Genting for a few months.

It was a good and enjoyable CNY until we got news of Uncle Lee getting really sick after CNY. Before that he even Whatsapp me like normal. So last week Sunday morning we went to see him at his house. He was bedridden and looks so pale and thin. His wife told us he cannot eat anymore. It was really sad looking at him like that. He did wake up for a few seconds to see us, before going back to sleep. 

Later we went to do our normal shopping and lunch before heading back home. But at around 2pm, they called and let us know that Uncle Lee passed away. So soon... just after we met in the morning. It was like he was waiting for us to say our last goodbye before he left. It was a really sad moment for me... RIP Uncle Lee. I know it was very painful for you those past few days. We will miss you dearly... 😭

Our bonus this year was the worse we have even received, with half a month or no salary at all (for high level management). Our workload wasn't less but why so bad? Something was wrong, and some workers could not take it. After bonus day, 3 person have resigned (2 before that). It's sad to see colleagues go, but I know it's for the best. I wish you all good luck. Waiting for my turn, 1 day haha...

CNY has passed and today is Valentine's Day. Not the best day for us singles yet I wish all couples out there Happy Valentine's Day. Please cherish your other half, else don't waste time and just break up, ok? Like they all say, better a short pain than a dragged long pain. Small arguments/disagreements don't count, so mend up! Until next time, adios~!

New year, no resolutions haha

 Maybe I'm getting old but no more new year resolutions for me haha. Better just call it goals or targets. My aim this year, like all years, is to get fit, less fat and maybe get a gf. Maybe... although the last one doesn't seem achievable, haha...

So what happened these couple of months? Started to gamble bigger (big no no) and lost 1.5k on the last trip to Genting. Must stop thinking I can win back that money that I lost, which will eventually make me lose even more. Kns... Everyone turns into a gambling ghost in the casino. Or almost everyone. Best way to win is not go into a casino at all. Period.

Bought myself a new year present, a new Samsung Galaxy Tab S9 which cost around 2k only. A steal compared to my old S7 which cost me 3k. Amoled screen baby, haha...

Last week was our company annual dinner. Last year got chosen for lucky draw (ang pow money). This year kena again, the first name to be called for the lucky draw (10th prize) Sharp Microwave. Wow, not bad, even though didn't get the chance for the grand prize TV haha. But got played on stage when I was the top 5 male best dressed contestant (dance APT, omg). Needless to say didn't win, the winner was actually not best dressed but most famous and liked (who can play too). Oh well, the prize is just a box of chocolate haha. The food sucked although the place looks nice (new hotel in Butterworth). The old Juru hotel (which we held our company dinner nearly every year) although the food was boring but actually taste better, bummer...

Last month my dad was admitted to the hospital again for lung infection and too much water in lung (that's why he kept coughing for weeks). Luckily he was better and discharged in nearly a week. I was like a zombie that week (had to work and drive 1 hour to the hospital) and had fever for 3 nights (but resumed work the next day). Lucky my dad discharged early...

Love life... lately crazy for YS, not YL. The girl who blocked me in instagram haha. I feel like the Gods are playing a prank on me for she is the only colleague I accidentally meet outside our office (in 2 restaurant, in a pharmacy and today in FM). Yes I know I'm overthinking again but this time I pressure myself to remember, she hates me, remember?!? So I will keep my cool and just appreciate her by the sidelines, like I always do. Ok maybe she dont hates me, but she will NEVER like me, pronto! Stop thinking you stupid brain, sigh... This is what loneliness do to you *facepalm*

Heard our company either didn't profit much or lose money (how can we lose money if we all work like dogs!?). So bonus will be less or none, we shall see. This year will surely sucks as an after effect of last year (budget cuts, need to save here and there). Work will be abundant (to earn more and please more customer/shareholders). Damn it, who asked this company to be listed is the most idiotic person of all! Not only did our workload increased (and caused 4 person to resign BEFORE bonus), also caused a LOT of people lose a lot of money when they bought the company shares (which now dropped more than 60%). Now almost everyone in the company is demoralized and waiting for the bonus before deciding to call it quits or continue to suffer in a not looking bright company. I expect my dad to retire this year too, so I can quit also. But then YS... sigh.

CNY is coming soon. Here's hoping everything will be better this year. Good luck everyone~!

The dangers of gambling

 Went to Genting last week. I knew gambling was bad yet I told myself to go and gamble a bit, just for fun. But when I started to play on the slot machines, it was really... irresistible. There's always that urge that says 'put in another RM100 and you will win it back and hit jackpot too!'. Well, it was always the opposite haha...

One time an aunty who sit next 3 seats to me won RM7k! walao... and it's not even a jackpot. Then later she won another 3k! That really fire me up to try again, which in the end lost all money haha. Conclusion, 1 in a million can win, but the others will lose. But when you're gambling, you will always feel you're 'the one', thus losing more. Until you cant lose no more.

When I was young, I only play RM100, because losing RM100 is really pain for me (sometimes I wont even gamble to prevent losing RM100). Now with more disposable income, I will go for a few hundred, sometimes even 1k. Now I know why my dad or friends lost so much on the gambling table. When you start gambling, you turned into another you. The 'greedy monster' you. It was fun, but cost dearly. So to everybody out there, try your best NOT to gamble ya haha... Cheers~

Restricted, not blocked, by GL on FB

 GL birthday just passed. A long time ago, this was one of the most important date for me. I wished her on her FB a few years, until I finally woke and stopped. Cause it was useless and she never wish me on my birthday. This year I don't know why I check her FB to see how she's doing lately. To my surprised, I can only view all the wishes I wrote on her wall, and nothing else. I checked and I was right, I was restricted (not blocked) by her. Adui, might as well block me lah like that *facepalm*

What made her do this? I was not stalking her, she's in Australia for God's sake. Ah... it might be because that one time I told OUR good friend that I had a dream about GL, and she told her, thus freaking her out that I might go after her one day haha. Seriously, she's really not... attractive. And I already have another crush of 20 years, she is already way past history. Damn it, I have myself to blame. People nowadays are really made of glass, tell them some dream and it blew into stalking or whatever shit. FML... 

Anyway, nice meeting you two in the past (GL and SN). I hope we will NEVER meet again. I'm sick of this, really... True friends are soooooo hard to find nowadays, sigh. Everyone is selfish, I get it. But being friends for so many years, they couldn't differentiate which is facts and which is illusions? Yup, those 5 years are my illusions... illusions of having good friends that will last. Goodbye my friends, it was fun while it lasted. Cheers~

First time in my life, a week of me time

 Last month was a long holiday for me, where I took 3 days off and it leads to a week off (including holidays). My parents should follow me to GH but mom still recovering from leg infection (admitted in the hospital) so no choice, I have to drove alone all the way there (first time). Mainly because we booked many rooms already and also promised our aunt & uncle from England a short vacation there. So, solo vacation let's goooo~!

Genting was relaxing, not really fun. First I accompany my aunt and uncle, with my bro and his wife, for 2 days. On the third day they went back down to KL, leaving me alone... staying at the luxurious Highland Hotel. Oh Yesssssss! I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, for 3 days (until Daniel comes). It's the best feeling ever (freeeeedom). Shop alone (bought me a Nike Air shoe), ate alone (ate Harry Ramsden fish and chip, delicious but expensive), gamble a bit (win then lose back) and etc. It was really nice to be away from the freaking hectic work life... and free from responsibilities for a little while. Luckily my aunt went to Pg to help take care of my parents, so I can enjoy in peace.

Thursday Daniel came up alone, live in my room (lucky it's not 1 bedded). Talk about some of the old memories of life and new. It was nice too haha. His wife was begging for his return to help take care of the kids, so we went back early on Friday afternoon. I drove him to the LRT then went to find Sum, which Daniel told me shifted to KL East Mall's Harvey Norman. His house and working place is even nearer than my PG house and office! Then later went to ate at BRJ with my cousin and bro. Stayed the night at my bro's house. They were really late back home (around 4/5am) so I watched an anime called Frieren. A very nice anime indeed (watched until finish).

Saturday night was the highlight of my trip, to meet my old friends from TARC. I think didn't meet them 3 years liao. As expected, YL didn't join, again. Which really didn't matter as we all chat and have dinner happily for 3-4 hours at Plaza Arkadia. Those joined were Daniel, WingC, Jimmy, SG and CM. On Sunday, after breakfast with my bro and his wife, I drove back alone to Pg.

Summary: I must try to make a solo trip at least once a year. It's good for the body and soul, really, haha. The perks of being solo I guess. Yeah I will feel lonely without a lifetime partner, I will live alone when old with nobody to call my own, I will have to take care of myself when sick, etc... But that's life. Not everyone can be happily married. If can I will choose to attach myself to a girl I love without needing to marry. Why? Because I have seen a lot of marriages that... doesn't go so well. Love without marriage, sounds irresponsible right? No wonder I'm single haha... Just dreaming, don't mind me. Cheers~!

Yup, I'm definitely sick again...

 Yesterday admitted my mom into the hospital again. Last time was due to leg infection, this time also the same but on another leg. Need to drip antibiotics to recover fully. So after the doctor gave the green light to be admitted, we went downstairs to register for the admission. To my surprised, I saw YL as a receptionist next to ours! I calm myself down a little, there is absolutely no way she is working here. I look closer and it was a woman who looks 80% like her, with her face mask on. Her eyes and hair was so much like hers, I just can't get my eyes off her. Why!? Why do I keep looking at her eyes!? Then I realized... I really miss YL's eyes. Shit... FML

Did you know that I once...?

 Did you know that I once had a dream, a long time ago, when I was in secondary school? It was no ordinary dream as I still remember a bit details until now. I was in love with a tomboy name GL. I was so in 'love' with her that I had a dream with her. It was in the future. I was shopping with her, happily as husband and wife while she was pregnant, in a futuristic unmanned supermarket. I remembered we just go in and out without needing to take out cash or cc. 30 years ago dream, that was pretty high tech haha... A long time ago dream, that will never come true.

The purpose of life, my life

 Sometimes I ask myself, what is the purpose of life? Of my life? Why is it I'm always thinking of YL, when I can think of somebody else? Why do I keep saving up money, when I can suddenly die and all my money can't be used? Why do I work when I should be enjoying life out there now? What if, what if, what if...?

Then I realized, we are but just a spec of dust in this universe. What we do is purely for our own benefit, our own happiness/sadness. Yes we care for other people, but we care for ourselves first. Like what the airlines people said, you can't save others without saving yourself first. So always think of yourself FIRST.

I think of YL because I feel empty inside, without somebody to think of. I imagine if I don't think of YL, what will happen to me? I may feel depressed... sad... aimless... purposeless... lonely... and this might make me breakdown. That's how depression can do to you. I stepped into darkness, and I pull myself out before it's too late. Depression is no joke, believe me. (Actually I don't think much of her lately, but I just put her inside, one part of me... just in case)

So from now onwards, I will think of anyone, as much as I want, when I want. I will not let loneliness or depression get to me. I play what I want, eat what I want, do whatever I want. I don't know when I will die, but I will live as happy as I can before I do, everyday. My purpose in life? Is to enjoy life as much as possible, with or without love. I don't need to be great, I just need to be me. And I hope you will too. Cheers~!

Happy Dragon New Year~!

 So first post of the year, hope everyone will have a Happy New Year soon. Let's recall what has happened over the past few months:

1. Company dinner at 13 Jan

This time not buffet but Chinese wedding style where each table will be presented their own set of food (halal/non-halal/vip). Still same at Iconic Hotel (food was ok). This year got special 'long service award' which I definitely will get since I work before day 1. It's a certificate and RM300 cheque, yay. Got some performances by own colleague (a way to save money and entertain all). First time get lucky draw too (RM100 ang pow). Best lucky draw prizes: hp that company get for free from signing packages with phone companies (OMG...). Overall, fun and not bad (because I got RM400) haha...

2. Sprained knee while playing badminton

Walao first time kena torn ligament. So serious until I cannot walk as 1 leg was crippled. MC for 2 days, recovered on 4th day. Was using a walking stick to see doctor, it was Hell. Now still a little pain. Doctor said no sports until after CNY. I doubt can fully recovered by then, sigh... Bad year for dog, no doubt.

3. Was hit with Covid last year December

Yup, second time covid. Fun as free off days at home. First day was Hell, high fever, couldn't eat. Then later recovered and stay in bed and gaming whole day. But got some after effects like lost taste bud and leg weakness (maybe the reason I sprained my knee). Whole family kena (including my parents). First time MC of the year, there goes my perfect record haha.

4. Still single and available

Yup, the usual. Starting to shake of YL, but for how long, who knows? Focus more on old games that have stories for entertainment (not H game). Lonely but manageable...

Busy with work (sometimes) as company already listed. More work, bonus only 1 month (less than last year's 1.5 month, shit) and everyone is working like zombies because no add man power but increased workload. IPO only made it worse, shit! The economy is getting worse, everything price increased. Sigh... let's just hope this will be a better year for all. Cheers~!

 

Damn tired of working in this company

 So we got confirmation that our TH side is getting listed (yay). It was actually all good. Until yesterday. Yesterday I got news from my friend that they already booked tickets and accommodation for ALL the HOD (EXCEPT ME) to fly to Bangkok for the ceremony on 1st Nov. I was pissed as I am in charge of CC, so considered a HOD... but my job position is STILL security exec. Then I am often handled work and responsibilities of a HOD, without officially becoming one! Now they want to save money and didn't invite me go. Bloody Hell... I vent my frustration at my dad, how can they ask all HOD go except ME?! Then he said because some is investors (I'm not) and some is 'senior' managers. I then said 'I'm not senior? I work since day ONE in this company!'. Then he got nothing to say but ask me to calm down and be patient... &^%%#@

If it wasn't because of my dad. I would have straight resigned. Stupid company controlled by stupid people (not include my dad). I then tell my dad to either promote me into a HOD or ask the company to hire one, as I'm sick and tired of being a 'nameless' HOD anymore. When want somebody responsible to do KPI or HOD stuffs, come find me. But when got HOD benefits, kick me to the side. What a damn irresponsible company. That's why my love for the company is practically zero.

Finally free... updates

 Ah, finished a big project which was on my shoulder for months. It was tough as I was the ONLY one who went for the course and know (a bit) how to do it, while the other guy in Thailand, who also attended the course, was totally clueless. Clueless at least learn lah, all bergantung on me. Then only know chase me because the heads are chasing him. Really bloody hell... Now to await the people respond and follow up. Work, work (in a grunt voice)...

Love is in the air again, or at least for me. It will happen once I have no games too keen to play, as my mind will wonder off to that 'area', again. Yes, YL, as usual. Nothing new, move on...

Last month was a bad month, where my uncle passed away (age 60+) due to lung cancer. He was a good and kind man, I really do not have the guts to visit him when he was in the hospital, as I waited in the car (and there was no parking at the public hospital). Looking at him in the parlor really breaks my heart. My late grandma's sister also passed away, she was the last kin to my grandma. RIP...

These few weeks was getting high on sports. Thursday badminton 2 hour, Friday futsal 1 hour. Feels like more healthy and don't eat that much anymore. Maybe skinnier a bit too haha. No gym as my gym partner was down with a recurring illness, which take weeks to recover. There was also confirmation just this week that our main company in Thailand have been listed, and we can buy some shares before officially listed on Nov. Looks like I need to take out all my savings to buy shares...

Upgraded our lifestyle a bit. I bought a tablet for my parents each (mi tab 4&5). Dad bought a new sofa set for the Pg house. Later they want to change their queen sized bed to a king sized. The office chair that I brought back from office (a bit broken) broke down, so I bought a RM100 chair as substitute. Not that fancy but better than a rotan chair. Also just bought a 30 inch Prism+ x300 200Hz 21:9 curved gaming monitor, a big upgrade from my 7-8 years current Philip 234E5 monitor. Will reach today, can't wait~!

Life has been fair for me. Yes, no love partner, but I have family and a healthy body. I'm content and grateful, and that makes life a little bit more easier and beautiful everyday. Cheers~!

Another dream of GL

 This morning had another dream where GL agreed when I asked her to be my gf. Then I was texting her in the middle of the night when she was at Australia. It was 3am something. Suddenly *poof* dad awakened me, saying 'Wake up, it's 6am already'... Damn, why did I had another dream of her suddenly!? This time I am sane... I tell myself it was all a dream as GL will NEVER be my gf in this life. Ironically, I heard the song 'All I Have To Do Is Dream - Everly Brothers' while in the car for breakfast with my parents. Damn it, sometimes I really feel like someone is playing with me... or was it my own doing? Shit...

A trip to remember - company team building at Krabi, Thailand

 Last week Thursday was my first trip overseas, as an adult of course. Went to Krabi for free as it's a company trip, which consist of MY and TH side together. Altogether was around 30-40 people. Our BKH side also joined. It was an unforgettable trip (but if you asked me to pay for it, nah...)

Day 1. Early morning wake up and dad sent me to the airport with mom and aunt (after that they went for breakfast). Dropped me at the airport and I already saw some colleagues standing there so I immediately joined them. Flight wasn't delayed so went smoothly to KLIA where we will transit to Krabi. Buuut flight got delayed by 3 hours, so we just lepak and walk around KLIA and ate a pack of nasi lemak that Airasia gave us for free for the flight delay (good).

Reached Krabi airport, realized my check-in baggage was destroyed like 30%! Shocked but colleagues say maybe because of the AirAsia workers throwing bags into the airplane recklessly. Sigh, consider it as a cost for my trip lor (cannot claim as didn't buy insurance- Airasia bad). The leg space in the plane was bad too, now I know why Airasia cheap.

Took a van to the hotel, which is quite far away. Ao Nang beach resort. Tired so check-in, rest a while and then dinner time already. Our company booked the dinner place (buffet) and a small stage for singing and announcing stuffs. I'm surprised that I myself went on the stage too, as the CEO picked my favorite song 'It's my life - Bon Jovi' and 2 more colleagues also sang, so I joined them haha. Our 'work' was paid 200 Baht each, nice! All that went to sing on stage was either given 100/200 Baht each, company belanja haha. After around 3 hours of eating and singing and taking pics, we went for a walk to a neaby 7-Eleven for necessity. Then I go back into my room while my roommate WB joined the others for drinking session.

Day 2. Wake up early for breakfast, second at the hotel buffet. Others was either late or tired from the drinking. After breakfast was team building in a room. It was an internal team building where mostly involves asking questions and doing group discussions. Everyone was encouraged to participate at least once (and get a small gift). I got a nice shopping bag. Then dinner and get ready for trip to the islands.

Half day trip to the islands, I wasn't dressed for activates so just took pictures and soak my leg in the sea. Took a seasick pill to prevent nausea. Dinner was on the beach, not bad (but the food was cold). 'BBQ on the beach' was only the corn and potatoes haha. After that they took us near our resort, where we have to jump ship and walk to shore (it was knee high depth). It was dark and we look like illegal immigrants walking from the sea haha. A special moment indeed. Then went for a nearby night market for some food. After that they went drinking and I went back to the room alone.

Day 3. Wake up for breakfast then get ready for a whole day trip to the islands. This time I'm dressed in those long sleeve shirt and pants, for water activities. Kinda embarrassed but the CEO also dressed like this yesterday, so why not? Haha. Went to a few islands but didn't jump in. Finally gave in when they stopped at a place where the water was clear and fishes was just swimming beneath you (I could nearly catch them with my hand when snorkeling). Shouldn't have eaten so much beforehand. When I dive in was ok, but later became seasick and vomit a bit. So I quickly go up the boat. Then vomit again on the boat, shit. Some spilled on the floor, damn. Luckily all was friendly and helped me. After that place, we went to another island where I sit on the rocks to recover and ate another seasick pill. Half an hour later I was fully recovered, so I missed 1 island trip. CEO was nice and bought some food and drinks for me. One of the most embarrassing moments of my life, damn I can't snorkel due to the waves.

After that I ate on another island (which they already ate) as they bungkus for me. The island is just for hanging out and taking pics/ play water. After that go back hotel. Bath then go out for dinner outside at a restaurant. Food was not bad, a lot of seafood. After dinner, took a van (each paid 100Baht) to another night market. This time bigger with more things to buy. Bought some souvenirs there. Then went back. Again they went for drinks. I walked with JJ and Eugene for a while (chatting), then go back to my room when they leave for drinks.

Day 4. Last day. Ate breakfast then went inside room to pack up. Around 1.30pm a bus came to pick us to the airport. Stopped by at one of those food/souvenir complex before continue to the airport (bus stops). Bought some food, total used in Krabi = near 1k Baht. Reached KLIA then forgot to take passport, ran all the way back into the plane to my seat, luckily still there. Ate oldtown white coffee as lunch/dinner but man that place sucks. Food was ok but orders was messed up. Some get their food late, some missed their drinks, etc. No wonder so little people ate there. Didn't saw the wine section as mom wanted a ginger wine so no buy. Reached Penang airport 10pm and followed dad, mom and aunt back.

Overall was a good experience. Knew my colleagues a little better (JJ and all) and Sun was still avoiding me like the plague, which I don't care anymore. What I hate most is the part where you need to unbuckle your belts for the scanner at the airport, damn annoying. Thailand food was mostly spicy, not that good. The sweet stuffs at the night market is too sweet. Food wasn't that cheap, maybe because tourist area or low value of RM. If I should want to take a vacation sometime in the future, maybe once a year or two would be enough. Not much of a fan for travelling, really...

Manners maketh man

 Last week Friday was an 'unforgettable' day for me. There was this old colleague name CY. He is loaded and retired, currently working as Marketing Manager in our company. Usually he was a good guy. He sometimes buy extra food and pass to me, which I accepted but told her don't already (it's making me fat). Then he still buy it but for another uncle who's working in our office 2 times a week. Sounds good, right?

But on Friday last week, he was up to his 'sarcastic' mode again. He sarcastically mocked me saying my job was easy, even XXX (an incident happened earlier between me and another colleague where I didn't know about XXX) don't know. So I openly said 'Don't know because nobody teach me la. If I know then I don't need to ask lor. For example YYY you also don't know, if I asked you, you also don't know la'. Then he lost his mind. He slammed his table and asked me go into his office. Sure, why not?

Inside his office (with doors opened, his style), he said 'Last time I asked to learn about YYY but you don't let me, now you say I dont know?'. I replied 'Hallo, you want to learn YYY course you need ask the management, it's not me who control who can learn YYY or not'. Then he BOOMS, totally lost it, and in an angry tone said 'FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! GET OUT!'. I was stunned briefly, but trying not to lose my cool, departed his room after that. Bloody hell...

Imagine, being so egoistic and wanting to win every debate, but flips out when he lost? How old are you already? Cursing in office when others can clearly listen. It's damn embarrassing to me and yourself! Lucky I didn't curse him back, else it will be the beginning of WW3. However I do know that these kind of bully cannot be left unattended. I told me dad (COO), some of my colleagues and HR about it. I said I would not take action this time but HR should take note of this incident. However, should he do it again one more time, I will report him for verbal harassments to HR. I know he doesn't care even if he is fired as he's already loaded from retirement at Intel last time.

As my friends know me, I am a good friend when you're a good friend to me. But I will turn into a devil should you do bad things or disrespect me. CY even send me good morning encouragement pictures every morning via Whatsapp. Looks like this is the end of it all. All because he lost control of his temper, he destroyed our good friendship in a matter of seconds. Manners maketh man, it doesn't matter how old/rich/smart your are. Disgusting, really... 

Life is so fickle

 Yesterday was a bad day. Parents quarrel because of something small. I guess even after married for a long time, there will be times when you will 'explode' too. Mom said want to take train back KL la, let my aunt take care of dad la, etc. I think my blood pressure increased by a lot yesterday. Already burdened by the pressure of work, lagi have to call/do this/that, to be the mediator. I think until now also mom still want go KL by train alone. No wonder the doctor say my BP high and need to take medication, sigh...

I guess good/normal times doesn't last eh? I don't want fancy things or to be filthy rich, just a normal life, live peacefully everyday. Is that really too much to ask? Why do people do silly things just because of rage and anger? Will destroying everything you once build just to make your point stand, worth it in the end? Regret is already useless then! Humans..... sigh.

CNY and holidays gone, back to boring working life. Keep on dreaming...!

 Sigh, already start missing the holidays! CNY week was fun as we went to Genting and then my bro came to Penang for nearly a week. We also did 'bai tin kong' which we didnt do for a long time already. We even blasted one of the firecrackers that dad bought a long time ago (luckily still usable) and left 3/4 bunch. It was tiring (as we slept around 3am) but an experience nonetheless. Parents won some money in Genting, which was used a lot when we ate around 3-4k worth of food for the whole duration with my brother, his wife and my aunt. Happiness can't be bought with money, haha...

Bonus was good (around 1.6x) but I heard some other colleagues get only 1.1x (because not set by my dad but by the big bad CEO). How I know this is because one of the girl (Half) wanted to resign and after asking around, this maybe the reason. She started work nearly the same time as me (when the company just opened) and wanted to leave now is too... sudden. A bad boss that doesn't appreciate the staffs will end up with nothing in the end. She's the 'happy go lucky' girl of our company, hope she doesn't go.

Actually a lot of bad things happened this year. A few days ago our company got flooded on the top floor because of a clogged drainage, causing a lot of damages to files and documents (storage area). Yesterday one of our truck toppled in Laos causing a lot of damages (carrying solar panels). As for me, my new shirt was torn just one day wearing it (too small I presume haha) and my sturdy sandal also broken yesterday. Have to be careful this year...

Recently I think to myself, is it ok to fantasize and keep on dreaming? Yes, this is what I do nearly everyday. It keeps me motivated to live my life. It keeps me happy instead of worrying about life. It's what makes me sleep soundly until the next morning. But... is it REALLY ok? I think it's ok, as long as there is no harm to myself or to people around me. Your mind is what you make of it anyway. 

Would it be better if you don't dream but feel empty and lonely everyday? Would it feel better if you stop fantasizing but put your feet on the ground and concentrate on work and money? I don't... that's why I live everyday as happy as I can make of it. I KNOW that my dreams won't be a reality. I UNDERSTAND that fantasies are just an illusion. The most important question is to ask yourself... Are You Happy NOW? I can say 70%, I AM~! And that's enough... for me. So I wish all of you are too. Live life happy, everyday. Adios~!

First 3 times lucky in the year. Good luck for dogo?

Yesterday was somehow the most lucky day for me, this year. I don't know what fell over me, I accidentally left my wallet AND hp in the shopping mall! I only realized it when I enter the car. Luckily my mom tried to call my phone and a good lady (foreigner) pick up the phone and return it to her. She even denied any money my mom wanted to give her. 100% seriously rare good hearted lady, respect! Nothing was lost in my wallet, wow... I was shocked and stunned.

Then my dad went to the barber. While waiting for her, he asked me to go do some shopping with my mom at a nearby departmental store. I tried my luck and found the LAST cat sand (for cat poo) at the pet section. It was rare because no supermarket sell it anymore. Score!

The third one was when we went to the pharmacy to buy face mask (KN95). I went down to look for it while my parents wait in the car. Saw it hidden beneath the bottom shelf, last 2 boxes, and it was on promotion (buy 1 free 1!). Last 2 boxes so can't buy anymore, lucky~! It cost a whooping RM35 for 20 pieces only.

I was really happy when my wallet and phone was not stolen. Maybe getting old, never have I done this before. So careless and forgetful, sigh. I hope this new year will give me luck in love (just wishful thinking) or at least more money so I can retire soon haha. Adios~!