FYP has ended... and maybe a friendship too

Finally the FYP has ended... A lot of effort are put into it until I really no time for DOTA or yamcha with my friends. The sad thing is I feel like my group doesn't like me very much... maybe I'm not their 'group'... maybe I'm too old for them... maybe my style is not the same as theirs. Whatever the reason is, there are ups and downs when doing the FYP project and I am happy with the outcome.

Doing the exhibition for 2 days there was some lecturers and even the Head of School who came to our booth and said that our assignment was very interesting. It is a documentary on God possession and some other festivals in a temple. They said that we should try to send it to Astro or Discovery Chanel and sell our documentary if we fix it a bit more, haha... Or at least send to FINAS to get an award which will greatly help for our portfolio later in the working world. The HoS asked us to send a copy so the school can use it for other students to watch and learn from our documentary... cool!

Bad thing is when I was doing the documentary with my group... it was a harsh week, all did not get enough sleep and keep doing the video non-stop. I did my part, and went home to wait continue doing my part on one night. So, to relieve tension and make a joke, I wrote in my FB 'People who do not get enough sleep sometimes turn into monsters... haha'. It was a fun remark, any right minded people can see that...

BUT Miss LG didn't! She badly commented me back, saying how they become monsters but other ppl so good can go back home and sleep... -_- Ok... I went back to wait for HER part to finish, what is the use of me not sleeping AND doing nothing!? Keep shoot me, say me should not call her monster, this and that (I DIDNT even wrote her NAME). So I just take it all down and jokingly brush it all off cause I don't want to make a fuss about it. But it doesn't end there.....

She so childishly COMPLAIN to another group member, the eldest person in our group (woman in her thirties). Then she go scold me in SMS and said I should remove those remarks. WTF!?! I was damn pissed... no one would be so CHILDISH and whine about these stuffs except HER! I was even busy doing the FYP that night, which in the end only slept for 3 hours. So I disable her FB to see my posts and I wrote in FB 'Here I am, busy doing my FYP... but I got scolded for a joke I make. What is this world coming too?'. I know she will see it somehow, cause she is a BUSYBODY.

And saw the message she did... through her sis's FB. So we debate and debate, she still thinks she is not wrong for being 'close minded' and said it was my fault for joking it. FINE... so I stopped the msg-ing inFB and continue to do my FYP. Later she totally blocked me in FB too, wahahaha...!

Sighhh... am I supposed to be happy or sad that this relationship turned into such a bad state? She never knew that ALL this while, I am ALWAYS on her side no matter how wrong or bad she is... cause I F**KINGLY like her. She thought I'm bad and evil, with some bad propaganda behind. FiNe...! If you think I'm such a BAD person, then go ahead and ignore me. I don't need a close minded girl like you as my friend..... To think that I sacrificed so much for her, argh... what a FOOL I am!!

Goodbye LG... I hope you will continue your studies in Kampar, so I won't have to see you again. It only pains my heart to see you......... only mine...

Emo oh emo...

Sigh... lately feel so emo. Hate this feeling... but can't stop this feeling. Sadness falling on me like tears from above, can't run no matter where I go. Starting to feel demotivated although pretend to be strong on the front lines... Feel like just give it all up and leave this sickening world.

No I'm not lovesick... I'm just having a serious case of demotivation. Why? Because of THEM... my so called friends/ coursemates/ group members. I shouldn't be saddened by these couple of fools that think badly of me, for things I did not done to them... which I don't know why they still doesn't accept me as a 'real' friend. I did not kill their parents, nor did I do anything bad to them. I tried my best to be a good director, always giving a helping hand eventhough they didn't ask for it, be as friendly as I can... but still they treat me nothing more than a... 'person to work with', ONLY.

FML... fML... fmL... Fml...FmL...fMl...FMl...FmL...fmL.....!!!!!!! I am so weak to be disturbed by these petty people. I should ignore them and continue on with my life. In the future, I will not meet them anymore nor will I treat them as friends... as what they do to me now. Revenge is sweet, but it is not of my choosing. Like karma, I will do to people what they do to me, good and both alike...! Do not think I will be so kind and stupid enough and forget all of these things in the future. The fire will take a miracle to perish... the fire of vengence.....!!!

It's really sickeningly sad to see the girl I once love and would always be there for her... now treats me nothing more than a monster. I wish I never knew her... I wish I would not see her anymore, as every glimpse makes the hatred gone and comes back even bigger in the end. Why cant I tear out my heart and remove her image from it!? Why can't I go into my brain and destroy every memory I had with her!? Why is it so F**kingly pain in the inside that I couldn't do anything to erase it!!?! WHHHYYYYY!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!

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Johor FYP trip, 1st week

Ah... finally went outstation after staying in KL for such a long time. Did went to Pahang on CNY but no stay over, so don't count... haha. Sat woke up early morning, get ready the final stuffs, played some final FB games, then my bro sent me to LRT. Was a bit late, but LG keep complaining when I reached there, swt...

My bag was so heavy... shouldn't have brought so many clothes. Lucky I could pull my bag as there was a function in the bag. I was sweating like a pig when I reached Pudu bus station as it was hot, I was carrying my freaking heavy bag (I didnt notice the pull thingy until nearly reached the bus station) and I need to help LG take one of her bag. She doesn't appreciate it at all I can see... so I'm doing it all BECAUSE I'm a man. FML...

The trip in the bus was five hour, but I didn't feel any carsick as the seat was comfy and there was enough space for me to lean the chair to sleep a bit. Unfortunately I sat beside LG, because KLiang wanted to sit next to JH, which I said I wanted to sit with earlier. Nvm... I know KL sitting with LG will be even worse, so I 'sacrificed' and let him the seat... which I know she thinks like I WANT to sit next to her. Again, FML...

In the whole trip I didn't talk to her, only offered help and sweets... cause I know she doesn't want to talk to me either, so both happy is we don't talk to each other. Reached Pontian, I was happy cause I don't need to 'stuck' next to her anymore. We went for lunch, and I ate Wan Tan Mee, Pontian style. It was reddish color as they poured something like chili and tomato mixture into the mee rather than black soy sauce. The mee was quite huge (cause I ordered big) and the bowl of soup that comes with it has a lot of food, including meatball, wantan and fishball. I thought it was cheap to eat so much things for a bowl of Wan Tan Mee... but then realised the price was near KL price, RM5++. Plus eating 2 piece of otak otak (50 cents each) and a cup of Sarsi, all cost me RM7.80. Who says Johor food was cheap!?

Feeling full, I don't mind the price. Then Echun's dad came, in his 4 wheel drive car. Not enough place for the 7 of us, so we 3 boys sit at the back, in the open space part. It was my first time sitting at the back of a 4 wheel drive. It wasn't fun when u need to squat at the back, especially when the car hit a stop, turning or a bump. But the taste of wind flowing through your face was... good. Our first stop was the temple.

Wow... the temple was HUGE. And beautiful too... with colors and carvings all over it, I feel comfortable being there. Echun's dad even paid for the joysticks (all of us) so we can start giving our prayers from one God to another. So long have I not done this, and I feel happy to finally able to do it again (cause parents are too busy to bring us to the temple in KL). I was amazed at all the God statues there, cause usually there wasn't that much in a temple. It was a big temple indeed. Following Echun's guide, we prayed the Gods in the right sequence. After that we had a look around. We decided to drop at the big Goddess of Mercy statue first.

The GOM part was more interesting, as when you kneel to pray, water will flow from her vase down to a bowl of water. It's because there is a mechanism on the floor that will allow water to flow when weight is put on it. Cool! There was also the 'kao chim' there, so we had a go with it (not all of us). I was asking for relationship question, so I prayed and throw the 2 piece thingy which I forgot the name. One opened and one closed, so I was allowed to continue. Then I shake and shake the bunch of 'chim' and finally one piece drop down. It was the same with EC's, so I throw the 2 piece to ask if it's the correct one, but both was closed. It means it wasn't the correct one, so I shake another 'chim' out. Another fell out, which was different. Again I throw the 2 piece and both came up different sides, thus revealing this is the number I was looking for.

I went to take the number and asked JH to translate it for me. It was too hard, so asked KL's help. He couldn't translate it either, so HAVE to ask the girls for help (LG was there, sigh). I was embarrassed when they asked 'what question were you asking?', so they could help me translate it. I said relationship, and they laughed, haha... So the answer was 'Your love life is not good. What you wished for will be nothing but an empty shell in the end.' Ah... so true! I actually already know the answer, but the 'kao chim' helped me to further prove that it was real. Was it a coincidence that the number I got and answer was true? I don't think so... The power of 'kao chim' was real, at least for me ^^

LH didn't get to ask as the 2 piece always end up on the same side, thus it is fate that she won't be able to receive the answer... but must seek it out herself. Then we have a walk at the pond area, where there are beautiful fishes swimming around. Then to the well, I don't know if it's a wishing well but we can scoop the water out and wash our hand or face with it's refreshing water.

Finally the time has come for us to go to Echun's house, after passing the permission letter to the temple people. Echun's house wasn't that big, but quite wealthy too. The whole house was nearly using air-cond for cooling. She also have a dog, an expensive breed. We unloaded our baggage and later her mom cooked dinner for us, which is very good...! A professional cook, just like my mom, haha. XD

Around 8.30pm we went to the temple again in her dad's truck. This time no need to kneel as there was no baggage on the back. I love the feeling of riding at the back, as the wind blow through my face... so free. Started recording a lot of stuffs, from the Tiger God event, Hit the bad man event to the God possession event. Very informative and new... my first time experience. Went back quite late. But before going back to Echun's house, her dad bring us for a midnight snack. The porridge there was Ex-Ce-Llent! It was no porridge I taste before... Johor style? Nice! ^^

The next day all was so tired, we slept till nearly 11am. Echun was sick, so we went there late as we need to wait his dad finished his badminton session + sending her to the clinic. Couldn't shot much, so we went back in the evening for the night shoot. The night shoot was again shocking, as this time there were 2 Gods in the presence at the same time, so they went to chat among each other in some kind of deep Chinese language, then walk around blessing the temple and give us a number to buy on the coming Wednesday. So special, haha...

Final day, Monday. Went for breakfast at a Malay store... was more or less like in KL, but their Milo Ais taste better. Shoot some morning scenes, which is a the final wrap up. Then went back, pack up and get ready for the trip back to KL. Will miss the temple and the friendly people there, but there is a parting for each meeting. Reached KL around 8.30pm, then went back as bro fetched me back.

There are a lot of fond memories in those 3 days... but there are some bad ones too. I don't know if it's my fault but I sense that LG doesn't like to sit beside me in the bus. Whatever the reason is, it made me really sad... and mad. Who needs her!? If she wants to sit alone, then let her be. I am getting more and more pissed at LG's attitude. Some how all my good doings are scaring her more and more... is being a nice guy so wrong!?? Does she think I have a bad intention behind all my good deeds? Sigh... FML!

Going for Johor!

Finally, an outstation trip... after so long! (blame Daniel for not organizing the PD trip after so many times talking about it) This trip was meant to be a case study... an assignment. We are doing a documentary on a temple in Johor. EChun took some videos of the place earlier... and I tell you, the place looks soooooo nice! It's beautiful, colorful... the perfect place to relax and get away from city life. And in the video if I'm not wrong, it looks like the temple is near a beach or kampung, something like that. Good! I can relax on the beach when I feel like it... IF I can la, haha..... XD

Whatever it is, I will not let LG make my mood down for tomolo (or today, since it's 12.16am now). I will be the director AND project leader... so I must do my best and BE the best! Yaataaaaa...!!!!! ^O^

P/S: I will try to get more pics to let you guys see how pretty the place is... XD

So siu hei!

Hoyoh... I thought LG was more mature than most people liao, turns out she is also very fast siu hei one. Just now I MSN her and asked her some stuffs. She answered. Then I tease her 'You sure r? Just now u were chatting in lecture too wor... haha'. And guess what she replied?

"if u tak percaya me why u ask me o... u try ask other lo..."

I terus cha dou... then, trying to make her not so angry, I replied "haha, dont marah la... just asking for fun, lol"... then she terus no reply me liao. SO siu hei betul... I also malas to layan her anymore.

Looks like the once girl I thought was so kind, pretty in the inside and the outside... is slowly turning into an ugly monster. A friend of mine overheard her conversation on the phone today, said about her "she talk about someone.. say they so sweet now.. but later wont be so sweet.. cuz "sum tam" as time goes by.."

Oh my... she's turning from bad to worse in gossiping people liao. Sad to see her like that... is it she's taking too much pressure until turning into gossiping to release her anger and frustration/ sadness? I donno... and I shouldn't care.

F**k why am I caring about her so much again!?!! S*it! S*it!! S*it!!! ><''

She just don't care

Sometimes I really don't understand LG... that day I already told her I'm sick, yet she still keep pestering me to sms another group member to discuss about our FYP related stuffs. Not even a word of asking if I'm ok or not, only bug me on work stuffs. Do she think that I'm lying or avoiding responsibility when I say I'm SICK?

And yet I still talk to her and treat her so nicely on MSN, when I should be mad at her. Sigh... I need to wake up from this dream/ nightmare... fast! T_T

Jimmy's house for CNY

Last Fri, which was a holiday (Awal Muharram I think), we went to Jimmy's house for 'pai lin'. Mr Daniel no car, so for the first time I fetched him to Kepong in my Waja, lol. I could because it's near my aunt's house.

Around 3.30pm arrived, inside was only Jimmy, WingC, SG and her bf. It was lesser than I thought. YL wasn't there but I know she won't come since CM went back hometown and she won't drive alone to Jimmy's house. But it's no big deal, since being with my friends was the main purpose, not with her, haha...

Watch some movie and played some cards. No money was involved since nobody wanted to play (only me, Jimmy and WingC). Later Mr KH came, which was a surprise. Throughout the whole day he only teased me a bit, which was waaaaaaay better than what he did last time. An improvement, very good. If he continues on like this then maybe our friendship can be recovered like last time, before he started shooting me blindly on my blog. I never wanted war in the first place...

After watching the last movie 'Saw 5', which was extremely gruesome... and funny, we planned where to have our dinner. Since SG's bf is a vegetarian, they decided to go to a vegetarian shop way far, in Cheras area. KH offered to drive us there if I can't drive that far, but then it would be a hassle if he will send us all the way back after dinner. So I said I can drive if Daniel know the way, and drive to Cheras I did (without asking my parents for permission 1st, haha). But later I told my parents too and they were ok.

The food was not bad... especially the taufu bakar (very nice!). Daniel didn't complain much too, even though he dislikes vegetarian stuffs very much, haha. Then for a second round, we decided to go fetch Oon and went for yamcha. Yamcha at Momo, the place we used to go with David and Jane for yamcha last time. It was renovated and somehow too bright for me. The yamcha didn't last long since Jimmy need to send WingC back, but it was still enjoyable.

Sat went for relative gathering at eldest aunt house. Seremban relative also came over, and we had some conversations between cousins. We even add each other in Facebook. Another reason FB is a MUST in this life, lol. Had our first 'yee sang' (home made) and a lot of nice food to be shared among ourselves. The best times come when family reunions like these appears.

Yesterday and today feeling a bit sick, sore throat... sneezing and running nose. Some more this weekend have to go Johor liao, have to get well asap! Being the director and group leader, a heavy responsibility is on my shoulders. How I wish I have a gf now to cheer me on, in these times of hardship... ><

A CNY gathering in YL's house

Yesterday was a fun day... at least most of it. Supposed to go to Yling's house at 2 but got delayed because she went out, thus postponing it to 3.30pm. After sending my bro and parked the car at Wangsa Maju, Daniel fetched me to YL's house. Even before stepping into her house I called her, just to hear her voice (and to confirm is she at home), although we are just a few steps to her front door, haha... XD


Reached there, only YL, her 2 sis and Oon was there. Jimmy and WingC will be late an hour. So we started to look at vacation pictures of YL going to Cambodia and stuffs. I would be more interested if it were only pictures of her, but most of it was boring snapshots of other stuffs. Yawn...!


Then WingC and Jimmy came. Soon we 'open table' and started gambling on the floor, starting with Blackjack and then In Betweeen. With the power of the golden elephant (YL's vacation souvenir to me, hehe), I won RM5++ that day. Guess it's true that people with no luck in love has better luck on the gambling table... >.<'' Then Daniel went to Summit to meet David to buy some Magic cards. YL also followed to buy some Mahjong paper. Although I wanted to follow them very much, I decided to stay and accompany them play some poker cards some more (else it would 'disband' due to less players). But soon, Jimmy and WingC also left as they need to go for a family dinner. Soon David and YL came, and we played a couple rounds of cards (no money involved this time) and then left as I am late for the FYP meeting.

Thanks to David I wasn't that late. I speed towards GK and reached Station One around half an hour late I think. All was there liao, and me being the leader was late... paiseh! >< So we discuss and discuss about the FYP... and in the end decided to do documentary. I wasn't sure if it would really work, but I hope it does, since it's quite an interesting documentary too!


So I sent LG home... at first it was because I need to fetch my bro from Wangsa too, but then he say he will go back by his own. I could have told Laihar so she will send LG back again, but... nvm. I sent her back and even walk her until the front door of her house, but it somehow feels... not that 'heart pumping' anymore. It feels more like a 'routine' than a 'I want to see her till the end' kind of thingy. Is it a sign that I am finally letting go of these feelings? If so, then we should celebrate! Haha...


Then went for yamcha again with David and Daniel, although near 12am liao. They played some Magic and then we chat about some love stuffs. I asked David to rank, and he said LG was the prettiest among them all. Although it was a fact, but I kind of felt sad for YL... in my heart, she will remain the prettiest of them all. Okok, stop vomiting blood you readers! Hahaha... XD

CNY season!

So CNY has passed a few days ago... this year was the worse, the feeling of CNY was so little it was hardly felt everywhere, except home. Still, I had some good memories this couple of days.

On Monday went to Raub, Pahang to find my kai-cow mou (step aunty, or something like that, haha). They own a pet shop and breed some pets themselves. The stench at the back of the house was unbearable for me (where all the pets are, mostly dogs). Then we went for lunch where they treat us to eat at a seafood restaurant, and later we return to their home for mahjong. They even gave us a bottle of red wine as souvenir, nice!

Yesterday was the most enjoyable one of all. After waiting for nearly a week, we finally get together to have a Japanese dinner, me and my 1st batch of TARC friends. Those that joined were Daniel, YLin, Jimmy, WingC, SGeng, Oon and the one year missing dude, Weng Foo! We had fun eating and chatting there... and continued playing 'police, killer and doctor' card game at Station One cafe (second round yamcha). Unfortunate that we can't gamble this year cause WF's schedule was fully pack and he's leaving back to Abu Dhabi this Saturday. See you again next year dude!

So what did we talk/ joke about during the 6 hour ++ reunion? Talk about me chasing YLin last time (paiseh!), talk about me still concentrating on YL when SG brought another leng lui with her last time (but CM more interested in SG's fren, haha!) and stuffs. A reliving the past moment, so fun... XD

YL... I should really REALLY forget her, sigh.....!

Updates... sem 5, part 1

Sigh... lately must be too free and did nothing much at home. Everyday it's been doing the same thing... doing some house chores, playing FB, Dota, Torchlight or Magic. Actually it's not that boring, but it is FREE... and when my mind is free, I tend to think about love stuffs again, sighhhhh!

LG's bday just passed a few days ago. I was so into the game (Torchlight) that I totally no time to check my FB, thus without realizing that her bday has passed until a day after. I still wished her happy belated bday in FB and SMS. Sigh... I do misses her sometimes, when we always hang out yamcha together. Now that I know she's in love with another person, my heart does ache... how much, you will never know. Go for your happiness LG, you deserves it...! T_T

YL pula... the more I go to Summit, the more I want to go see her at least once a week. No doubt she's the longest girl that I have loved in my life... and still am. I hate myself for feeling so much 'hope', that if I DO see her, my heart will have that special tingling 'good feeling' that it is so damn addictive... it is like a drug! No matter what ppl say, you still wants it badly... and I'm an addicter. I'm addict... I'm addicted to you~ ><

Haha, I can imagine the faces of my readers saying 'Oh no, not this again! When will he ever wake up!?'. Maybe soon... when I do have a gf. But that won't be anytime 'soon', so.....? Nobody knows, yay! XD

GL - YL - YL - LG, these 3 words! G, Y, L... why always this THREE words!?! What does it mean!!?!! ArrGGhhhHH!!!!

A dream in her house

Yesterday went to Summit USJ for Magic... then Daniel joined after his Japanese class. Yeah, it was fun scrolling for cards and then buying it, but I hate the shop owner who looks like he's giving priority to those buying 'expensive' cards and ignored ppl like us who buys cheap cards. What a bad way of doing business...

Then we went to YL's house. So unfortunate she wasn't there, as my heart wanted to see her so much... even if for a while, haha. We just hang around the house, talking to CM. Daniel was tired (or lazy? lol) so he went to sleep... making me wanted to sleep too (since CM doing some office stuffs with his laptop). We both slept on the sofa in the living room, quite soundly... haha.

Suddenly I had a dream... it was a dream of hanging out with my friends, in YL's house! But her house was much bigger in the dream, and like in real life, I was happy to see her too (lol...). I was happier in the dream... cause she was there. When I woke up, reality was being cruel to me again. She went back to her hometown... so there's nothing I can do. Then I told them of my dream and CM said it must be because I missed YL too much... WTH!? Since when did CM know about me and YL? It must be Daniel's fault... but nvm, as long as he don't tell her (which I think she already knew, lol).

A little happiness in my heart keeps me going forward... in this cruel world called 'reality'.