One of those nice dreams

Actually nothing biggie, just want to write down for fun. Last night I had a good dream (yeah, quite a long time no dreamt this good) where one of the girl I admired, Susan, was in it. Nothing fancy or dirty happened in it, just me and her chatting something (forgotten what, hard to recall). Then me, being me, tried to make her happy and wrote a poem for her, in which she happily smiled and praised me. We were not dating nor are we a couple, just me and her as friends, even in the dream. I remembered it fondly as I was happy when I woke up, which again, was rare nowadays. It was sweet, it was nice, it was... a dream.

I know it was my friend, loneliness, that paid me a visit, yet it was still... a nice short moment I needed to boost myself up, in these mundane and sometimes stale moments... I call life.

A good start for the year?

 Today got my pay slip. It was unusually big, so I know it must include the long awaited 'increment'. I opened the envelope, check the increment letter and I was semi-shocked (as my dad got hinted to me before) that the percentage of increment was around 23%! Yeah, not bad, woohoo~! Actually my salary was quite low, so adding this much is a big step up. Plus it's already delayed (last year no increment). With more money I can buy more figurines, haha... Just joking, I usually limit myself to buy 1 per month or 2 ONLY.

I wonder if I'm eligible for taxing now or not? Still not yet hit the ?? mark, I don't think so. And with the CNY coming, 1 month bonus should be coming too. Maybe I should treat myself to a PS5? Maybe later...

Covid in Malaysia is hitting record high with passing over 5k cases per day. Looks like CNY this year will be spent without going anywhere (no Genting too). Damn, my new Magic box (share with bro) have to wait longer before can be opened together.

Just now on the way back from home, after lunch, I hear one of my favorite songs on the radio. Why I love it is besides the nice tune, the lyrics best describe what I wanted to say to YL. It goes like this:


I never had a dream come true
'Til the day that I found you
Even though I pretend that I've moved on
You'll always be my baby
I never found the words to say
You're the one I think about each day
And I know no matter where life takes me to
A part of me will always be with you...


Yeah, life goes on even if YL is already married and have kids of her own. I have moved on, but a part of me will always be with her. I seriously think I owe her something in my past life else I wouldn't... Oh well, wish her all the best. Time to live my life for my parents, my home, myself..... and hopefully my 'future life'.

New Year 2021 is here~!

So another year has gone by, just like that. It was a horrible year indeed. With Covid spreading and chaos happening here and there, it was a year we truly do not wish to repeat. Many things happened, new SOPs to follow (to curb the spread), people losing their jobs, companies and shops closing down, price of items increased, etc. I hope 2021 will be kinder to all of us...

So what GOOD things happened to me in 2020? Let's see:

1. Worked at home a few months (yay~!)

2. No salary cut but workload increased (yes!/wth!?)

3. Bought myself a super expensive Samsung Galaxy Tab S7 (3k, ouch) but happy with it

4. The TV spoilt, changed to a new 4k HDTV (really big color difference, wow~!)

5. Bought myself some figurines (mostly Rem, haha) and 2 'special' ones

Some BAD things, that I remember, are:

1. Health deteriorate (need to eat 1 medicine everyday, damn)

2. Need to FURTHER control my diet (eat less, less sugar/fat)

3. Wasted my gym money as only go less than half (due to fear of covid) and expired now

4. Stress and workload adding up (working with an idiot CEO, figures)
5. Still no luck in my love life (getting used to it already)

Still, I am grateful as I am already more lucky than most people out there now, living moderately and enjoy my life as happy as I could. Maybe being single is not so bad, at least I have more money for myself (planning to buy another big thing this year, maybe PS5?). Parents are starting to enjoy life more now too. Go out eat at Japanese shop a few times, and other expensive shop s too. Not kidding, before this we never do that... or a few years only do once. Enjoying life is a good thing, why save so much for? Save enough will be efficient. Balance is key.

Actually liked a girl in my office, but was told by my one colleague that I don't suit her. Maybe he got ask her if she likes me. I believe him as she doesn't smile to me whenever we meet, and only greet me when I greet her first. Heard this year dog is not a good year, except financially. Aii..... life goes on. See ya~!

Getting aged without realizing it

Wow, how time flies without me realizing it. Still feel like I'm in my 20s or early 30s. Then when I register for the government financial aid thingy, which need me to enter my age. The horror of realizing how old I am now (shriek!). No wonder some of the people that don't know me (like cashiers) will call me uncle (noooo!). Haha, don't know if I should be laughing or be sad. How time flies when you're living life as full as you can be.

Nah, who says you must act o** even when age tells you that you're o**? Just live life as happy and vibrant as you choose it to be. Life will be young and energetic or o** and boring, as you want it to be. Urgh, damn white hairs, else people wont call me that 'aged' now.

Live life young, that's ONE of my life's motto haha. Ciao~!

Corona oh Corona...

It's been a few months since Corona have hit the world by storm. Malysia and the world, for the first time has created MCO (movement control order) where we help save millions of lives by just staying at home (to prevent the virus from spreading). Needless to say, work also transferred from office to home, which is a good thing! For me, as a gamer and an introvert. For office workers, to bond with their families more. For the environment, less human to pollute the earth and let nature heal. The bad thing is less out equals less work equals less money for nearly everyone, which causes a lot of people out of work, change jobs or went bankrupt. It's a money or life decision, which makes everyone suffers no matter what.

Life is quite normal for me this few months. More time for games at home, working sometimes piles up and sometimes normal (never less, sigh). Yup, logistics never goes down even when an epidemic hits the world. Being single maybe helps me too as I dont need to entertain any kids as schools are closed. Loneliness is as usual my biggest nemesis, but usually I'm able to kill it with a good game or two. For that I'm grateful, which is kinda sad if you think about it more deeply. Oh well...

Still misses YL whenever I'm free, skip. One thing this epidemic brings is it sometimes unveil the inner selfishness of human being. People hoarding food and masks, idiot Donald Trump lying everyday just to make himself look good, some people balik kampung even though the government forbids it, etc. Maybe this is how nature punish us humans, like Thanos snapping his fingers. Overpopulation of greedy and stupid human beings will really destroy us all in the end, seriously.

Let's hope a vaccine will be invented soon. To end the suffering of good people and to continue the lives of hardworking citizens. While waiting, let's continue with CMCO now. Be good people, ciao~!

It's getting worse...

A few weeks have passed and it's looking worse. First there's the sudden 'jump ship' politicians, which causes the government we voted for (and won) lost the majority, thus making the losing side the new government now. Bloody traitors... I really hate backstabbers.

Then the Corona virus, which were already depleting in Malaysia, suddenly spread even more worse in KL. Soon we will be like Singapore, hoarding on goods and staying at home... disastrous!

From my side, I did leg day last Wednesday and boy... I regretted it so soooo much. Legs were so in pain that I climbed up the stairs even slower than my parents, walking down the stairs was like Hell, and etc. I admit, my legs is the weakest part of my body. Then to make matters worse, my mom suddenly became sick and vomited too. Maybe due to eating toxic leftover food. Me in pain while doing house chores = really really... PAIN. At this time my mom is ok already but my leg is still recovering, damn...

So what is the good thing that happened these few weeks? Nothing I can really recall... except for the news that PS5 is coming out this year (I will DEFINITELY buy it, muahahaha). With the car fully paid, thought of getting a new big family car... like the Aruz, haha. Maybe wait for the next version.

Everybody is busy with their own lives, as usual. Me still thinking of YL, as usual. Ok, back to work, ciao~!

A burden off my shoulder

Huurah, finally paid off my last car installment! So now officially one debt of my shoulders! Although this is a small achievement as it's only a small Axia, but that's the reason why I bought it. Cheap, save petrol and small (to fit in small places) and no need worry to pay a looooong debt off. With the monthly extra 'income', I can save more money for... something. PS5 definitely in my list... maybe a house too? I'll think about it later, haha...

So Valentine has passed, and the few days of watching people's 'romantic posts' sometimes is a bit annoying. 30 over years and still never wasted any money on Valentine. Don't know if I should be happy or sad. Oh well, the 'loneliness' indeed subsided after V-day, thank God...

A new motto I invented, here goes:
"Man live to work 5 days a week. Those that doesn't are either lucky or lazy"

How true is that? Work can be either a man's job or a woman's responsibilities at home. Either way, we live to work. It's a never ending cycle that stops when you're retired... or couldn't work anymore... or dead. Because of this we must appreciate the time off we have! Don't waste it on more working because life is too short for that. Enjoy living... not working!

Enough lecture, people live their own lives. Telling them this is pretty much useless anyway, haha. Men are selfish, one way or another. It's the degree of selfishness that makes a man, a MAN. The world is changing because of men's selfishness. For the worse. I wonder how long until we really reach the point of no return? Because men never awakens until they are at the brink of death. Now where have I heard this before? From some movie, must be...

Time to sip my cup of RM2 McD iced latte and back to work. Adios~!

First sickness of the year

Urgh, had a bad night on Friday night where I woke up suddenly while sleeping and vomited in the bathroom. Then diarrhea. Then vomit again. Maybe due to indigestion, felt better after all those painful moments. Luckily still able to work on the next Saturday morning (half day), then travel to KL some more (for my mom's friend's son wedding lunch on Sunday). If I was unfit as last time, I'm sure I would have been locked on to my bed for a few days. Thanks gym-days!

Found a new girl friend on FB dating. Not young, 36, but who am I to choose now haha. Looks a bit baby fat, okla. Chat in English, very nice! But lives in Penang island. Will this be the start of a beautiful friendship? Only time will tell...

That's all for now, adios~!

New year, new page design

Wow... blogspot really is dying. I clicked on some of my past readers/bloggers that I linked to my page, and most of them are outdated/closed for privacy/ shut downed. Some still surviving like Daniel's but turned into vacation blog (sorry but I don't like to travel haha).

Then I see a new design button so I decided to change a bit of my page for fun. Wanted to put YL's picture but that will be too... desperate. So I put a picture of the girl I 'admired' last time in my badminton session with my friends. Partly cut due to size doesn't fit, haha...

Got 1 month bonus last week, yippee (earlier thought wont get because company new and still losing money). First official company 'lunch' (not dinner as need to cater colleagues from BKH side). Halal, 3/4 star hotel's restaurant. Not bad the food, the place also ok. Most important is to enjoy food with colleagues (and see how pretty the girls dress up haha). I was the only one dress partly CNY mood, sien...

This week is going to hit CNY on Sat and Sun. Friday will start our company's holiday, going up again to meet my brothers and aunty, while enjoying some family time. This year can't enjoy with them longer than last due to sister-in-law starting work early.

Anyway Happy CNY to all, Gong Xi Fa Cai~!

First email of the year (again)

So... 2020 is here, meh... Another year, another day to continue life as a working slave. Kinda sad opening, I know. Must be due to the meh-year I had last year. What better time than now to write all the pros and cons that happened to me last year. Onward~!

Pros:
1. Tried to court a girl
Cons:
1. Girl rejected me, saying don't like everyday whatsapp, want to be alone/ strong feminism, but actually because I didnt 'support' her open flower shop. Then she deleted me from whatsapp and unfriend me in FB (wait, isn't that what I should do instead!?). Proves that a religious girl like her can also be a bitch anytime, sigh...

Pros:
2. Continued work without quitting
Cons:
2. Have to suffer the Chief Entertaining Officer's wrath/idiocy/BS/lunacy

Pros:
3. Go to gym (because my badminton group disbanded, man I miss her...)
Cons:
3. Have to fork out RM150 every 3 months + pain

Pros:
4. Money in the bank growing from less money spent (MTG, entertainment... MTG!)
Cons:
4. Have the urge to sell my Axia to buy the new Bezza (stop it, brain, no!)

Pros:
5. Last year's fat liver is completely gone baby! (thank you gym)
Cons:
5. Damn it, sugar high pula! (start operation low sugar)

Pros:
6. Forgotten YL during the 'courting season'
Cons:
6. Sickness now is even more serious, damn you loneliness!


The world is now in chaos too (WW4 between Iraq and USA?, forest fire in Australia, deadly disease in China, influenza in Malaysia, killings all over the world). Metal Rat year, hope everything will be better soon. Stay safe everyone, peace out~

Adding salt to injury

Butt pain, heart pain... and to add more salt to my injuries, she wrote this on her FB:

目前狀態不清楚
看不清未來
回不到過去
希望我是最好的
是你再也遇不到的

Which translates to this:

The current status is not clear
Can't see the future
Not returning to the past
I hope that I am the best
It’s something you can’t meet anymore.

Wow... how good or 'best' do she think she is? Wasted a few years in Australia to 'pick fruit', come back with some money. But no education except SPM and no job experience (picking fruit is NOT one), then have to work as a clerk in a lawyer firm with low salary. Tell me she wanted to do her own business by opening a florist shop with her sisters, but I tell her it's not easy and needs a lot of planning, which I can't give her as I don't have any experience opening a shop neither.

So is it because I didn't support her or 'volunteer' to join in and let her open the florist shop, that I become 'not on par' with her? Come on, florist shop!? You hardly see one nowadays as people rarely buy flowers anymore. Because she likes flower then she wants to open a florist shop? Pfft... such naive thinking. If I wanted to be frank with her, I would have told her it's a silly idea. Good luck on that, girl.

Is all young girls have such naive thinking like this? Do they expect all their boyfriends to be loaded and MUST support them no matter what they want? Is Korean movies really screwing with their minds too much? (She LOVES Korean movies too, go figure) Bloody Hell, I even cut my hair super short (looking like a monk now) because she says Korean boys cut that kind of hairstyle is handsome. Shit, I didn't cut this hairstyle since I was like in... secondary or primary school!? WTF was I thinking!?!

Ok... it all seems clearer to me now. I was wrongly in love with a NAIVE girl who thinks I am loaded. Caring for her will not work, only money or looks. She's seriously not that pretty, even YL is way prettier, she only looks ok with those camera tricks. Her teeth is jagged/crooked so she don't open her mouth when taking shots. Somehow I thought this 'mediocre' girl is good enough for me but turns out I am the one not good enough for her? Ok, you win.

Lucky I only 'started' to give her part of my heart, else I will feel like dying right now. Heartbreaks is never a good thing and the more one experience it, the heart will starts to harden more and more. It may sound like a bad thing, but it will prevent anymore 'pain' to enter, which in a worst case scenario could lead to death. That is why I'm living my life with the motto 'Got then got la, don't have then nevermind la'. It's to prevent depression one way or another.

Ok, time to say goodbye to the... fourth girl that I loved? Actually screw it, she doesn't even deserve a spot there as I only 'like' her not to the point that I really 'love' her. Like the case with YL, that is how I really 'love' somebody... true, deep and long lasting, even if she doesn't feel the same. Who says love must be 2 sided? Haha, ok... time to stop here for now. Ciao~!